Fantasy Column Week 8: FLIP.

We all have a Flip Saunders story.

If you are a basketball fan or grew up in the Midwest, it’s likely Flip Saunders touched your life in some way shape or form.

I was lucky enough to have met Flip once. It was at the University of Minnesota Tubby Smith Basketball Camp during the summer of 2006.

(This was back when I thought I was D I. Ask my buddy Nick for his opinion on sixth grade hoopin’ me. He won’t say good things because for some reason confidence wasn’t an issue of mine.)

I remember Flip’s talk to the youth campers about hard work and loving the game. I was listening, but honestly all I remember thinking about was how in awe I was of him.

In front of me stood the man that brought my hero Kevin Garnett to Minnesota. I didn’t care that Flip had left the Timberwolves a year prior. KG was still a Wolf and that’s all that mattered.

Flip wrapped up his camp visit and left the university. 30 minutes later word spread that the I-35 W Bridge had collapsed.

I’ll never forget the panic that ensued. Everyone was trying to call their families but no calls would go through. Amongst the confusion, one camper, too young to understand what was really going on, asked one of Tubby Smith’s assistants “If Flip was okay?”

The assistant said to the little boy, “Flip is fine. He was stopped at a red light blocks away from the bridge before it went down.”

That might have been too much information for a second or third grader but I’ll never forget that story.

Sure, It is crazy that Flip was close to being on the I-35 W bridge when it went down. But what sticks with me more is the fact that Flip touched the life of that little boy during his short speech to the campers enough for the child to ask about Flip’s safety.

I bet not many people know Flip was close to being on the bridge when it collapsed. Looking back, I don’t even know if the story Smith’s assistant shared with the young boy was true other than the fact Flip was safe.

But what I do know is Flip changed every campers life that day.

If you’ve read my column before you know that I believe in showing love when it’s due because people rarely get the flowers while they can still smell them.

I broke my own rule today by opening the column and paying respects to Flip Saunders.

Regardless, it felt right to share a Flip story.

With anything in life, people tend to remember how one started and how they finished.

Flip started by bringing , the “6-foot-13 inch kid” from a Illinois high school to the Timberwolves and ended by pulling off what will go down as one of the greatest trades in NBA history when he acquired Andrew Wiggins for Kevin Love.

His final move – drafting Anthony Towns and home town product Tyus Jones in July brought the state a basketball moment I’ll never forget.

His legacy will live on forever and because of his coaching and front office talents, Minnesota basketball fans can finally get over this.

Thank you Flip.

Week 8 Game Previews

Vikings vs Bears

Stefon Diggs stealing Charles Johnson’s job reminds me of this scene below.

And like the raccoon in the video, Diggs is running away with the job too. He is clearly Bridgewater’s number one target.

Let me list some stats for you courtesy of Matthew Berry, (who got these stats from ESPN Stats and Information.)

• T.Y. Hilton, Keenan Allen and Allen Robinson are among the wide receivers with fewer yards in the past three games than Stefon Diggs.
•  In three games without Diggs, Teddy Bridgewater is averaging 168 passing yards.

Two small stats that speak largely about the talent of the fifth round rookie. If you were early to the Diggs show like my friends Josh and Joe than congrats.

If not, well now you know.

Diggs is a top 20 wide receiver the rest of the way and a possible rookie of the year.

As for the Bears, prior to their bye week Alshon Jeffery caught eight balls for 147 yards and a score. He’s back and healthy and that means one of my buddies might have one of the best fantasy lineups you’ll see this year.

Take a look.

SWISH!

Jeffery, Matt Forte and even Eddie Royal could have a nice game in a matchup I expect Chicago to be playing catch up in.

Lions vs Chiefs

Keeping it in the NFC North lets talk about the Lions.

Actually I’m gonna pull a Justin Bieber, and decide “I’m not doing the show”.

As for the Chiefs, Owners that

1. Didn’t take my advice on Knile Davis being the back to own in KC and
2. Hung on to Charcandrick West should be patting themselves on the back right now.

West clearly is hand KC is going to ride and as long as that remains true, I like West to keep putting up RB2 numbers.

The Lions rank in the bottom ten in run defense and it isn’t like their offense is any better.

Buccaneers vs Falcons

So I have this friend.

He is so petrified of owning a Tampa Bay player because two years ago he drafted Doug Martin in the first round, and he was a major bust.

The following year, he drafted Martin in the third round. Bust.

Then this year, while facing Martin’s owner, he lost by one point and Martin scored 39 of the other team’s 135.

My friends fantasy football relationship with Martin is more complex and heartbreaking than the relationship Adele is singing about in her new EARTH CHANGING single “Hello”.

But just like every lost relationship, life goes on, and Martin is flying high after being dumbed by my friend for two years of emotional abuse.

(My friend is good too though. He’s rich now so it’s chill. SWISH!)

I’ll say it now. Martin is going to finish the year as a top 10 running back.

If you know an owner skittish on him in your league go out and trade for him.

If you own him now, I suggest you don’t sell.

Also, though the Tampa passing game isn’t much of a show, it is about to become the Mike Evans extravaganza when Jameis Winston decides to throw.

Reports say that Vincent Jackson will likely miss multiple weeks so it’s Evans or nothing for the Buccaneers passing game.

On the other side of the field, you’re starting Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman and Julio Jones.

Glad I could help with that.

Saints vs Giants

A couple of weekends ago, My roommate Joel and I decided to take a picture with something that represented Bradin Cooks’s fantasy season thus far.

We came up with this.

Yes that is a toilet seat.

It’s been a tough year for owner’s that drafted Cooks to be their number one receiver.

He is barely putting up points in PPR leagues as it is.

Only one game over 100 yards and a score this year, Cooks remains unusable until he proves he can spring some big plays.

But I think those are coming soon.

He remains a target machine. And the Saints offense has looked better the past three weeks.

Cooks is a second half of the fantasy season breakout guy.

With Cooks projected resurgence, I expect Drew Brees to start putting up volume numbers as well.

If you own Brees I suggest you hang tough. Better days are to come.

Packers vs Broncos

Going to college in Eau Claire Wisconsin has taught me that there are few things better than when the Packers play in primetime.

I’ll be watching the Sunday night game regardless. I can’t remember the last time I missed one.

But my friends live busy lives.

Some have girlfriends that need attention, others have groups and activities that take away from their primetime football watching schedules and others just have to be productive on Sunday nights unlike me.

But when the Packers are playing, all the girlfriends, group studies and distractions get pushed aside and all my friends gather to watch the game together.

It’s literally the best.

I love my friends.

6-0 meets 6-0 in Denver.

We all know Peyton Manning is having an awful year and I’m not sure why anyone would be starting him.

Reports say that Ronnie Hillman will be the number one back this week. I’m starting him in one of my leagues, but I’m also desperate.

Eddie Lacy has been nothing but frustrating and trying to pick which back between him and James Starks will have the better week is like trying to predict this teachers outfit of the day.

Start both the defenses in this one. Denver’s defense is too good to leave on your bench and the Green Bay defense is sneaky good.

Colts vs Panthers

Guessing what the Colts offense will look like any given week has been more difficult than following my friends conversations at She-Nanns.

Andrew Luck doesn’t look healthy.

I guess he’ll keep getting numbers playing catch up but this offense is ugly.

If I could trade guys like Luck, Frank Gore, TY Hilton and Donte Moncrief I would.

I’m just out on the Colts. They are going to make the playoffs with a 6-10 record.

Quick poll question.

Who has had a better performance thus far?

Cam Newton

or the two girls who made this Drake pumpkin last night at the 3rd Annual Bronco Jack Carving Contest.

In unrelated news, I once told a friend to tell one of the girls in the picture above that I said what up.

I haven’t heard anything back yet though so that’s chill.

What I do know though is you can expect Cam Newton to have another strong night against the 22nd ranked defense.

For example, I am benching Carson Palmer for Cam Newton in one of my leagues.

I am also 2-5 in that league though so I’m not really sure if you should take my advice.

You’re here for the giggles right?

That’s what I thought.

Fantasy shots

El Will is pressed for time so before I continue I want to make something clear.

UNTILL MY SCHEDULE CLEARS UP THE COLUMN WILL BE DROPPING ON FRIDAYS FROM NOW ON.

Are we clear? I don’t want to hear bickering from 5’er or get Snaps from Uncle Leon about why my column isn’t dropping on Thursdays anymore.

But as always I appreciate the love and support brothers.

1st Fantasy shot

If you own Ben Roethlisberger then play him. He and Antonio Brown will pick up where they left off.

At least two scores for Roethlisberger and Brown catches one of them.

2nd Fantasy shot

Jonathan Stewart has rushed for 203 yards and two scores over the past two weeks.

On Monday night, Stewart finally finds the end zone again and records more than 100 total yards.

 

3rd Fantasy shot

Michael Floyd is the highest scoring Cardinal wide receiver this week.

Josh Brown is battling hamstring issues. Larry Fitzgerald was quiet last week and that means it’s Floyd’s time to pop a big game.

 

Alright that’s all I wrote this week! As always, thank you for reading and have a great fantasy weekend.

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Fantasy Column Week 7: Back to the Fantasy Future

What a time.

To be alive.

My bad on starting Season Three Episode Seven of the column with lyrics off Drake and Future’s new weak ass album.

But that line really holds true right now. Not only did we get a new Star Wars trailer on Monday.

But Wednesday was “Back to the Future Day”.

And not “Back to the Future Day” as in Ciara is going back to Future. Wednesday was the day that was traveled to in “Back to the Future II”.

So, let us forget about the man dumb enough to cheat on this.

and instead focus on the fantasy future.

Simply put, I am going to step into my fantasy time machine and share what I found out about the way this fantasy season will end.

For every future fantasy projection I share with you, I’ll share something I learned about life in the near future as well.

First Fantasy Future

Todd Gurley is fantasy’s top running back

He’s averaging 152 rushing yards in his last two games on an average of 20 carries a game.

There are two reasons Gurley will finish as fantasy’s top running back.

1. He hasn’t even scored a touchdown yet. Those will come and when they do it’ll be in bunches.
2. I got a buddy that owns him in one of my leagues and he owned Odell Beckham last year and now he now he owns Gurley. He see the trend there? SWISH!

Life in the future

Our world becomes so politically correct that only one man can lead us.

That’s right. PC Principal becomes president of the free world. Here is a stunning example of why he’ll be elected.

But I’ll be honest, the cocktails they serve in the future are way stronger than they are in today’s world so maybe I was mistaking PC Principal for president, but he really was just the Miami Dolphins new head coach.

Second Fantasy Future

All that is wrong & confusing in Fantasy stays wrong & confusing

If I were to tell you back in August the following things, you would have told me to piss off.

1. Through six weeks, Andy Dalton would have more fantasy points than Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck COMBINED.
2. Devonta Freeman would have more fantasy points than Le’Veon Bell and Adrian Peterson COMBINED.
3. Some guy named Gary Barnidge would have as many fantasy points as Rob Gronkowski in PPR scoring.
4. Larry Fitzgerald, Brandon Marshall and Travis Benjamin would rank higher than Calvin Johnson, Randall Cobb and TY Hilton.

Any one of those statements would have been outlandish during the preseason but all hold true now.

And after traveling to the fantasy future, most these statements continue to hold true.

Freeman is a touchdown machine.

Fitzgerald is dominating the slot and will continue to do so as the Cardinals currently have the fifth ranked offense in the league.

Brandon Marshall is still an elite talent on the outside regardless of who throws him the ball.

The Bengals and the red rocket himself will keep putting up numbers.

As President George Bush once said,

It’s Week 7 people. These performances aren’t flukes.

Don’t get fooled again.

Life in the future II

People in the future learn to stop sharing Vines of Drake dancing while thinking they are the first ones to discover such funny videos.

Turns out that in the future, I play a major role in this. Because I post this video below in an attempt to end all “funny Vines of Drake dancing”

There it is. Those are literally all the funny ones.

So please stop sharing videos of Drake dancing because it is not funny anymore.

Third Fantasy Future

Jimmy Graham finishes as the sixth scoring tight end in fantasy

Did you see the game last night?

If you didn’t, that hit about sums up Graham’s night. Russell Wilson continues to look like a man knowing he’s about to get hit out there. If you didn’t trade Graham this week you are stuck with him now.

Here is a list of tight ends that end up finishing above Graham.

1. Gronk
2. Gary Barnidge
3. Greg Olson
4. Tyler Eifert
5. Charles Clay
6. Graham

Any idiot who drafted Graham this year thinking he could do what Gronk does was wrong. For example, look at this guy’s two different teams. He was really wrong.

Life in the future III

Some of my friends get girlfriends, others get wives and some even get the X back.

I learned some things traveling to the future and one of my biggest take aways was the future love lives of my people.

1. I have a friend that finally found love after years of heartbreak.
2. A few other friends go on to marry their current girlfriends, and the weddings are more fun than I anticipated.
3. One of my guys ends up getting his ex back as proximity was the only issue all along.

But sadly, I did find out that I have a few friends that have none of the events I listed above happen to them. No new girl, no marriage, no rekindling old flames.

But don’t worry friends, If life ever becomes too real for you just pass out in a Treasure Island hotel room or something.

It worked for Lamar.

Ah that was a joke, we like to have fun here.

Week Seven Game Previews

Vikings vs Lions

The Lions backfield is a mess. Ameer Abdullah, who I was super stoked on at the beginning of the year clearly has a fumbling issue.

Theo Riddick is a pass catching monster. His 33 receptions this year are more than Hilton or Cobb have, but he is banged up this week and his status for Sunday is uncertain.

Enter Joique Bell.

Bell handled the Lions running load well last year and is close to returning to the field after battling injury. He’s worth an add in leagues as he may be the answer to what is a cloudy backfield right now.

For the Vikings, Stefon Diggs has Minnesota fans excited after his 129 receiving yard game last week. The week before he notched 87 yards on six catches.

Diggs is a must add and likely already owned in most leagues, but I’m here to say he isn’t a guy that should be started in most leagues.

He may be Teddy Bridgewater’s favorite option right now, but Charles Johnson is returning and head coach Mike Zimmer was noncommittal to Diggs’s future role in the offense.

Wait on starting him until his role is more carved out, but this man could be the next Antonio Brown low key.

Bills vs Jaguars

Not many things in life frustrate me more than when my buddy Kraemer is right about calls involving fantasy football.

But he was right about LeSean McCoy.

He traded Julio Jones for DeAndre Hopkins and LeSean McCoy after Week Two, and he couldn’t look like more of a genius.

Hopkins is putting up better numbers than Jones as it is and on top of that, McCoy looked healthy enough last week to be a top 12 running back.

So there it is Kraemer. You were right.

His roster has him in such a good mood in our league as of late that last week he decided to take up floral design again and celebrate his fantasy fortunes.

But unlike that sexy looking pumpkin, Tyrod Taylor’s chances of playing in this game don’t look good. The same goes for Sammy Watkins and Percy Harvin may retire.

What looked like a chill Bills squad a few weeks ago is turning out to look like the same old Buffalo Bills.

Charles Clay is the real deal though. Keep him in your lineups.

Buccaneers vs Washington’s pro football team

Look what Doug Martin’s done the past two weeks.

He’s shown flashes of the “muscle hamster” from two years ago, and I think his production is here to stay.

I realize trusting Doug Martin in your lineup as your top running back is as scary as watching your DD take shots at the bar.

But in the end, you grab a cab and get home safe.

Trust in Martin. Because Tampa is far from a high volume passing offense.

If you have Mike Evans, this would be the week he goes off. Last year he eclipsed 200 yards receiving against Washington.

It’s either now or never for the second year receiver.

I rode the Evans train all summer. Clearly I should have been on the Hopkins one.

Dolphins vs Texans

I’ve talked about the Texans plenty.

Let’s touch on PC Principal’s Miami Dolphins.

This is a classic example of when a group of high school kids hate their teacher and therefore no one in the class really tries.

But then one day, mean old (likely white) teacher doesn’t show up to school and instead walks in a chill, new and young substitute.

You can totally tell the substitute is a dope person so you respect him or her, but they demand enough attention where you know you can’t get away with throwing pencils at your friends all period.

Yeah that’s exactly what happened when the Dolphins fired this guy.

For this guy.

Seriously though, it’s only one game so don’t freak out, but Lamar Miller could be a top 15 back all of a sudden.

He has a nice matchup this week with a Texans defense that can’t seem to stop anyone, and I’d feel confident starting Miller in any format.

Cardinals vs Ravens

It must suck to be a Ravens fan more than it sucks being a kid with parents like this.

The Ravens are a mess. The only good thing is that their entire offense runs through Steve Smith.

His 57 targets this year are an example of how much the Ravens rely on the aging receiver. In fact, Smith is only one of five receivers in the league averaging 100 yards a game.

If you own Justin Forsett, you are likely starting him, but the Cardinals held Le’Veon Bell to just 3.6 rushing yards a carry last week.

I don’t see Forsett doing any better.

That is the end of the previews.

Lets take some fantasy shots and hit the road.

Fantasy shots for road

1. Christine Michael establishes himself as the top back in Dallas this week by converting a goal line carry.
2. If Keenan Allen doesn’t play because of his hip injury, look for Stevie Johnson to have a big game against the Raiders.
3. The man pictured below scores another touchdown this week.
4. Celebrity shot: My friend Joel predicts “Cam Newton throws five pick sixes.” He also calls that the Timberwolves win 40 games this year and the Royals over the Mets in six.

Joel’s last shot would mean the Royals eliminated the Toronto Blue Jays, which would obviously mean a horrible day for Canada, and therefore, the rest of the world.

Thanks for reading and as always, have a great fantasy weekend!

Post credit scene

What a time. To be alive.

&

 

Fantasy column Week Six: I promise to be better

Life is busy these days. Week six of the NFL season also means week seven of the academic year for me.

The responsibilities of my school work, football practices and applying for internships, all while being chill has been difficult. Thus, the latter as been given the least amount of attention the past 10 days.

I shall say no more though!

For El Will is back to deliver his low key fantasy advice filled with questionable grammar and giggles.

We all know how good I am at apologies (check out season three episode two for examples), therefore I owe one more.

I’m sorry to my handful of readers I let down last week. I enjoy writing this column more than you know, and I felt like I let the boys down. (and gal readers out there too. Shoutouts to my mom, aunt, Natalie, Alexa, Hailey and any other female readers I got. Much appreciated.)

Like I said, I promise to channel my inner Vince Howard and be better.

Moving forward, lets address the elephant in the room. I am talking of course about.

Devonta Freeman becoming a fantasy god over night

Did you know Devonta Freeman wore number 33 last year?

Yeah I didn’t either. Clearly I didn’t know how good he really was either because last week I told a friend of mine to “definitely trade him because there is no way he keeps this up.”

Well, after 153 yards rushing and one touchdown game last week, Freeman showed up Thursday night to score 38 points in one of my fantasy leagues.

In his first start in a primetime nod (Tevin Coleman started the Monday night season opener versus Philadelphia in week one) it is clear Freeman is the real deal.

This run above is similar to a his touchdown run last night. He is explosive, powerful and the focal point of Atlanta’s offense.

Congratulations to any and all Freeman fantasy owners as I am certain the second year back will keep giving the people what they want.

Speaking of giving the people what they want, you know my guy Dan said this first right Jalen?

In the spirit of giving the people what they want, I’ll like to share a short story with you all before I get into my Week six previews.

Last Wednesday night, the UW-Eau Claire dance team gave the audience what they needed with this talented performance at our annual Homecoming celebration.

The energy in the arena was low, and they fired everyone up.

Honestly though, I wasn’t that impressed. I’ve seen my friend’s little sister do a lot better.

My friend’s little sister is even a member of the University of Minnesota dance team now.

Honestly, I’m not going to try to relate this story about UWEC’s dance team and my friend’s sister to fantasy football because it doesn’t at all.

I just wanted to tell a decent story to start the column off.

Anyone know where I can get season tickets for the Gopher Dance team?

Week Six Game Previews

Seahawks vs Panthers

Anyone who bought stock in the Seahawks offense this year or owners of Russell Wilson, Marshawn Lynch or Jimmy Graham are freaking out more than the woman in this fire new remix to hotline bling.

Seriously though, Russell Wilson has been sacked a league high 22 times and I don’t see those numbers slowing down at all. The offensive line is still a mess and despite Thomas Rawls 169 rushing yards, he’ll move to the bench as Beast Mode is expected to return to the line up.

Wilson and Lynch are in most lineups, but if Graham doesn’t record more than five catches this week then depending on your situation at tight end it might be time to move on from the guy everyone labeled as “the No.1 TE in football” a year ago.

To Gronk.

The Panthers are undefeated and in position to steal one on the road, but as for their fantasy options, stay away from everyone but their defense.

Chiefs vs Vikings

I am going to say it here first.

I think Knile Davis scores more fantasy points than Charcandrick West from this point on.

You all have West?

PUT IT ON THE BOARD!

“Put it on the board.” is a phrase commonly used on the 06010 fantasy focus podcast staring Matthew Berry if you missed my reference.

Anyway, I think Davis is actually the guy to own going forward here.

West has a lot in common with Charles from a skill stand point except for one thing.

He’s not Jamaal Charles.

Davis has proven he can carry the load of an NFL offense in the past, and I think that he’ll do it again this year now that Charles is gone.

Minnesota is coming off a bye, and I don’t expect much to change inside its offense.

Don’t start Mike Wallace unless you have to.

Texans vs Jaguars

I can see it now.

My roommates and I, Dan, Alex and Matt are sitting in our living room watching football.

Except Matt isn’t there because he left five minutes ago to “let his dog out quick”. (He won’t be back until late night.)

And Alex is still in bed because its Sunday and he’s still in a drunken slumber.

So as my roommate Dan and I sit and watch the Red Zone channel, host Andrew Siciliano jumps to the Texans and Jaguars game.

After a minute of viewing the action, I look over at Dan to ask him what he thinks of Arian Foster only to see him doing this.

He passed out watching this snore fest of an early game.

On paper, it sounds bad. But there is a lot to look for in this game.

First, Allen Robinson and Allen Hurns are quietly becoming a nice dynamic duo.

Going up against a underperforming Texans defense has me saying start both these guys if you want. I like what I’ve been seeing.

A couple things here for the Texans.

1. Enjoy Arian Foster. He’s back and should be in everyones lineups. 28 total touches in his last game and 10 days rest. Except another big game from Foster.
2. DeAndre Hopkins is on pace to shatter the record for targets in a season with 240. He might be in a better situation than Julio Jones right now. More healthy and just as many targets. I’m sorry to my friend Sam but Kraemer got you in this trade.
3. Another buddy of mine named Austin claims Cecil Shorts is a sneaky nice play this week in a revenge matchup with his former team.

As you all saw last week with Uncle Leon, I enjoy letting my friends voice their opinion on the fantsy column. It also takes the accountability off myself if they happen to be wrong.

Chill.

Bengals vs Bills

Andy Dalton went from not having cable last year to looking like Michael Jordan out there with the rock.

https://twitter.com/BlackPplVines/status/654874212079935493

I read a report that a source close to Dalton credits him getting booed at the Pro Bowl last year as the moment that catapulted him into having the season he is now.

He’s fantasy’s number one quarterback and like the referee in that video believed Jordan, I BELIEVE Dalton is here to stay.

The Bengals are ultra-talented and though the situation with Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard is frustrating, Dalton has weapons all around him.

Including Marvin Jones, who I think has a nice game against a Bills defense that will be on the field a lot come Sunday.

If the Bills defense is defending their end zone often on Sunday, that means their offense will be on the bench. With question marks floating around Tyrod Taylor’s health, I want nothing to do with their offense this week.

Even if Sammy Watkins gets his newly demanded “ten targets a game” this week.

I’m out.

Colts vs Patriots

Doesn’t it feel like everyone everywhere is taking New England to just destroy the Colts Sunday night?

Here’s my question though, wasn’t it the Colts that lost by like 40 in the AFC Championship game last year?

Shouldn’t they be the ones with “something to prove” in this game.

With all that being said, I do think Tom Brady and the Patriots are going to try and score 70.

They won’t. It’ll be more like 31, but Brady is going to take his shots.

Expect a lot of shotgun plays which means big nights for Dion Lewis, Julian Edelman and Gronk.

Also the Colts have a chance to get TY Hilton back on track against a weak Patriots secondary.

New England gets to the quarterback quickly and getting Hilton the ball early should neutralize their pass rush.

I have no way of know if that is their game plan. All I’m saying is that if this was Madden 16, that’s what I’d do.

But in all likely hood, the Patriots will rock the Colts because they are hotter than President Obama right now after dropping his new Donald Trump diss track.

WATCH THIS! IF ITS THE ONLY THING YOU DO. WATCH IT

Eagles vs Giants

Okay remember when I said the Eagles offense was gonna be really good and Sam Bradford is a legit fantasy quarterback.

Don’t blink now but…

I know, still not that impressive. 25 than 20 but WAY better than his first three weeks, and I like his matchup Monday night. The Giants can stop the run, meaning it’ll be up to Sam Bradford, Jordan Matthews and Darren Sproles to beat New York.

Count on that happening.

The Giants are walking into a scary situation Monday night. I expect them to be without Odell Beckham and maybe no Ruben Randle. That leaves the only wide receiver on their team that I’ve heard of being Dwayne Harris.

Enter Shane Vereen.

He had eight catches last week. Most of which came down the stretch once Beckham and Randle were out.

Start him with confidence.

Shots for the road

1. Trade Matt Forte – His usage is high and you could probably still get a lot for him. It’s gotta be a good price but I see a decline in usage coming once Jeffery returns.
2. Javorius Allen (running back for the Ravens) is the back up to Justin Forsett and will be a nice play if Forsett doesn’t play.
3. Add Christine Michael (Dallas Cowboys running back/former Seahawk) now. 
4. Danny Woodhead scores 15 plus fantasy points in PPR leagues this week.
5. The Browns beat the Broncos.

That’s all I got this week! As always, thanks for your time and have a great fantasy weekend.

Post credit scene

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU.

Fantasy Column Week 5: El Will’s Replacement

A Disclaiming forward:

Just so readers are aware, Other than this disclaimer, I contributed nothing to the column below. These words were submitted to me by a loyal reader when he heard I was unable to write my column this week.

Heartbroken and confused, this reader who goes by “Uncle Leon” felt a calling to fill the fantasy void I left this week. Therefore, I ask you to take the time to read his work.

I enjoyed parts of it and you will also.

Know that I do not endorse anything “Uncle Leon” says and none of his fantasy advice is a reflection of my opinions or views.

So without further ado, enjoy work that isn’t mine.

(Seriously, I didn’t write any of this. I’ll be back next week with a quality column for the people.)

NOT MY WORK BUT STILL READ

Sorry for the people that live and die by El Will’s dope fantasy advice, but he’s had a week as tough as it is for Andrew Luck fantasy owners. Much like Andrew Luck, El Will isn’t the starting quarterback for this week’s fantasy column, you get Uncle Leon.

This is Uncle Leon, an old wily vet that has maybe had a play that cost his team the game like Matt Hasselbeck did back in 2003. Either way his teammates need him so it’s time for Uncle Leon to step up to the plate and hit a dinger.

Speaking of dingers, my friend knows a friend of a guy who plays for the Blue Jays, so that’s who I’m pulling for to win the World Series.

Also, Bucks in 6.

This week is a big week for my dudes as it is EC’s Homecoming, so let the liquor flow. Please don’t liquor and drive, I repeat don’t liquor and drive. Homecoming is a baller time and liquor and driving is not baller. Liquor and liquor is baller. Don’t let your friends liquor without you, liquor in groups, it’s safer. Enough about liquor (for now), my fantasy team is doing just what I did three years ago for homecoming.

That is fall right on my face. At 0-4, I have faced three teams that put up the most points out of any team that week, as well as the second highest scorer for the other week. Tough schedule, but who cares I don’t write fantasy columns for a living, I just do it for the chicks.

Chicks are dope.

I know you’re probably thinking, why is this guy who’s 0-4 writing a fantasy football column?

That question will never be answered, much like why Matthew Stafford can’t win football games.

Anyhow, falling on your face in front of a homecoming crowd is embarrassing enough, but starting a player that is on his bye week is a close second. You really need to focus in as the weeks drag on about who’s on bye and what the meaning of life is. In the words of my man J.T., “Bye bye bye,” goes out to the following teams on bye this week: Panthers, Dolphins, Vikings, and Jets.

The Panthers get to take a cat nap and remain an undefeated team for another week. Cam can bulk up on some more greek yogurt and Josh Norman can take a break from galloping into the end zone. Who could’ve thunk it? The Panthers are 4-0.

The bye week couldn’t come at a better time for my Phins. A new head coach and defensive coordinator need a week to get things going, but the players might need the week to rest from doing Oklahoma drills too. Either way, this change in coaching might not save their season, but at least it might make their games more enjoyable to watch.

The Vikings, are actually in a good spot right now at 2-2. Coming up just short against Denver shows that they are a playoff caliber team with some great young linebackers, one of which is Anthony Barr who can disrupt any offense. If I were the Vikings, I would just keep increasing the carries for AP, he’s gonna get his, then you’ll get yours. That’s easy math right there.

The Jets are 3-1, wow. They have a shot at the Wild Card too. Fitzmagic is getting the job done and the defense swarms. If you caught any of last week’s game, Fireman Ed had all of London yelling, J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! That’s pretty dope, they have a lot of momentum going, let’s hope the bye week doesn’t slow them down.

Now for the real thing, the teams that matter this week, the teams will be on TV while you lay on your couch hungover on Sunday.

Thursday Night: Colts at Texans

Don’t watch the game. This is why we didn’t post the column until after the game had started, we hope you don’t watch it. I mean it, get a start on your homework for next week and skip this game. Personally, the headline games have been a snoozer. Vick coming up short against the Ravens was a good game, Seattle sneaking another call against the NFC North in the closing seconds had fans on their feet, and any game with Aaron Rodgers is a beauty to watch, but Colts at Texans, no thank you.

If you’re homecoming, liquor watch this game but don’t look forward to the game itself. Hasselbeck is making a second straight start but is 40 years old and coming off of playing a football game at 40 YEARS OLD and was in the ER until 2 am Tuesday with a virus. Don’t expect Andre Johnson to go off against his former team. Frank Gore should be getting a ton of carries. If you have the Houston D, maybe start them because the Colts are terrible, but so are the Texans. Arian Foster might go off this game, expect a running back duel for this game. Adam Vinatieri might score the only point(s) in this game. Personally I wouldn’t play anyone from either team if I didn’t have to, but sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do like watching Fan Duel and Draft Kings commercials all the time.

Prediction: J.J. Watt does terrible sack celebration and the Colts win 3-2.

 

Sunday: Bills at Titans

The Bills should win this game, but Sammy Watkins should also be scoring me fantasy points. I wouldn’t start him unless you have to. Maybe Charles Clay will score a touchdown or something, I don’t know, Bills D would be my pick but I’m a terrible fantasy owner. They are a projected top 5 defense for this week I’m hearing from my sources. The Titans don’t have anybody either, Kendall Wright leads the way in receiving yards and would be a guy to put in your line up, but no big scorers from this game either. Rex Ryan is in movies though, so that should help the Bills out in this low scoring thriller.

Bills win 16-6

Browns at Ravens

Don’t play either quarterback in this game, Forsett might have game here. He’s the only guy I have on my radar for this game with Steve Smith Sr. out, or is he? Steve Smith Sr. is one of the few dudes in the world that could come back from a back/rib injury that include fractures. Microfractures at that, but Steve Smith Sr. is one of the toughest, scariest dudes in the league, either way I think that the Ravens put up big numbers in this game either way having a couple extra days practice and an overtime win. Justin Tucker is a must have starting kicker for this week as he’s the quickest dude to 100 field goals or something like that and just hit a game winner. Who cares about Chancellor, someone pay Tucker.

Ravens win 27-10

Bears at Chiefs

Jay Cutler is my guy. I love him because he just looks like he liquors. However, I don’t see Jay Cutler playing well back to back weeks with a bad hammy. Start Forte, Jeffery will probably sit out again, and maybe Eddie Royal can fill your flex position because Jay Cutler likes him. Forte is your guy for the Bears because he will win the running back duel.

If you’re a man of integrity don’t play Jamaal Charles. On top of that the Bears defense actually isn’t that bad. Two weeks Jamaal Charles did the discount double check celebration and a Lambeau Leap while losing and not playing well overall. Touchdowns are good for fantasy owners, but you can’t claim you’re one of the best running backs in the league and have only one game of over 100 yards at the end of the first quarter of the season. Jeremy Maclin is your guy to play for the Chiefs as he can put on the jets. Bears defensive backs are so-so, if Alex Smith can get the ball to Maclin he should put up big numbers. If the score were based off of who could win 40 hands with a cig in their mouth, Cutler would take the cake.

Chiefs win due to Maclin 35-14

Seahawks at Bengals

As tough it is to play in Seattle, it’s just as tough to play in Cincinnati except the refs aren’t favoring the home team even though they both have strips. The Bengals are tough and undefeated, the Seahawks are whatever. The Seahawks go up against Andy Dalton who is terrible in big games. This is a big game as the Seahawks still think they’re going to win the super bowl. The Bengals are just trying to be all hype again.

I’d start Russell as my quarterback because he’s a good human being and does a lot of charity work. Marshawn I wouldn’t start because he just doesn’t seem to care enough to play with an injury unless the Seahawks can get a blocking tight end. Jimmy Graham isn’t Russell’s guy, so don’t play him unless your other tight end isn’t a recognizable name or if he’s on a bye.

I’d put Jeremy Hill or Giovani Bernard in your flex if you got them as Andy Dalton probably won’t go off on the Seahawks secondary. The Bengals will run the ball a bunch and hit AJ Green from time to time but Andy Dalton throwing at Richard Sherman sounds like trouble.

Bengals win 21-20

Please take a five minute liquor break.

Continue reading please.

Rams at Packers

The Packers play defense now. Even after losing two of the greatest Packers in the history of Packers in AJ Hawk and Jarrett Bush, the Packers still haven’t been getting burned on the run game. I still would start Gurley as he’s a dude and is a former Georgia running back going up against an Alabama running back in Lacy. I’d start both running backs, even though Lacy is under performing this year (due to injury), but he should come around soon. Foles doesn’t turn the ball over, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to throw touchdowns all game, so Gurley is the guy for the Rams to start because you just never know with Green Bay’s defense if they’ll get slashed by the run game.

Aaron Rodgers is cool, so start him. Gruden loves him so why shouldn’t you. Aaron Rodgers will throw a touchdown to Cobb, Jones, Cobb, and (Richard) Rodgers this week. I know I said Cobb twice, I’d start every Packer in your lineup as they are a hot team and don’t plan on slowing down. Lacy should get something going here quickly but with Aaron slinging the ball like every bar tender at the Pickle slings drinks, he just might not get the touches he needs to get going.

Packers win 49-20

#ManCrushSunday

Jaguars at Buccaneers

I wouldn’t watch this game. Play Yeldon as he comes off of a good rushing game and that’s it for this game. Just don’t watch the game and don’t play people on bad teams. Not a lot of detail behind this prediction, but why should there be.

Jaguars win for Holty 14-10

You ever have someone take a pic of themselves instead of you at the bar, but then you look at that pic and realize it’s better than the pic of you would have been anyways. That’s what any other television show will be like compared to this game. Here’s a pic to prove it.

Saints at Eagles

Drew Brees is back and he wants to party. Play Drew Brees and he loves him some Brandin Cooks this week. I’d put Sproles in a flex just because he’s a cute little bugger out there. If you don’t know who to put in at a spot and you have a guy from either team, but them in your lineup. This game will be a high scoring offensive battle, or it will be Drew Brees playing like he did during his super bowl season. The Eagles have to figure it out at some point right? Chips are good, Chip Kelly is not.

Saints win 38-35

Washington at Falcons

Don’t play anyone on the Washington. Start everyone on the Falcons, start their defense start their second tight end, start everyone. Matty Ice is finally doing it. Well actually he’s always been a good regular season quarterback other than last year I believe, but I have had a lot of head injuries so who really knows. I got Roddy White in my lineup even, he’s terrible. Julio Jones is the Dez Bryant of the Falcons, except he’s doing it for the whole season not just the playoff run. Whoever Devonta Freeman is, he’s scoring 20 fantasy points this week, Julio Jones will lead the league in receiving yards this week with over 200 yards, Matt Ryan will throw for 400 yards, second to only a quarterback who wears number 12 (Rodgers or Brady).

Falcons win 45-0

Julio Jones will run wild all season like this Pot Bellied Pig I saw at one of the many zoos I frequented to this summer.

Cardinals at Lions

The Lions will not bounce back this week, but the Cardinals will. Larry Fitz and Carson Palmer are must starts this week. Play Calvin Johnson because he should go off every week, but you just never know when it will happen. Golden Tate will probably do well because I don’t like him, and his haters are his motivators. This game will either be a great game to watch, unless you’re from Detroit, or it will be sloppy.

Cardinals win 28-17

Patriots at Cowboys

The Cowboys are depleted and the only guy that can save them is Jason Witten. He’s the man’s man. He’s the type of guy that you would want to lose a fight to. He’s the guy that would see you in a ditch somewhere and have a chain to help pull you out. He’s also banged up, but he’s tough. With a bad quarterback, who has nothing, expect him to look for the big tight end a lot.

Much like you can count on the quarterback from the Patriots to throw to his tight end. Play Gronk and Brady every week this year as I believe they will be playing the Packers in the Super Bowl and could be the only team to hand the Packers a loss this year. The Packers also could be the only team to hand the Patriots a loss this year as well. Either way that’s who will be in the Super Bowl to end all Super Bowls, 18-0 vs 18-0. Anyways, Brady might throw for 600 yards this week as Greg Hardy said something about Gisele. Brady isn’t a guy you mess with and neither are the Patriots. Also, put Julian Edelman in too, he knows the guy my friend knows from above.

Patriots win 63-7

Patriots will crush teams this year like I crushed Dr. Pep this summer.

Broncos at Raiders

Charles Woodson picks off Peyton Manning for a touchdown and the Football Gods send a beacon of light down to take Charles Woodson into Football Heaven. That’s what I’m hoping for at least. Chuck Wood is the man. Period. This game is in Oakland, but the Broncos sneak by another week. Von Miller is a dude. Expect Janikowski to kick over three field goals this game. I’d put CJ Anderson in the rotation as the Broncos need to get a run game going if they plan on staying undefeated. Start Emmanuel Sanders as he’s my favorite person to play with on Madden because he is super-fast. Start Demaryius, but don’t expect a lot out of him if my man Chuck Wood is on him.

If you could start Charles Woodson, that would be the guy I’d pick from the Raiders, but other than that put in Amari Cooper as he is doing well on the Raiders, a rookie, playing well, on the Raiders.

Broncos win ugly 15-12

Sunday Night: 49ers at Giants

Colin Kaepernick cannot throw the football, luckily he can still run? He should be able to run on the Giants defense this week, but don’t expect him to be throwing the football like he is Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers (they are good, so they deserve to be mentioned every other sentence). Carlos Hyde will out rush Kaepernick though, but he’ll have to grind it out I believe, but is a must start.

You won’t hear me say this often, but start Eli. He’s known to play well in big games (like the Super Bowls against Tom Brady). Odell Beckham Jr. will also be good, because he made the greatest catch that wasn’t a catch last week (Like how Aaron Rodgers threw the greatest touchdown pass ever last year that wasn’t a touchdown pass). This dude has dope hops. Hops are in beer, beer is dope. You get the picture? These two will have a big Sunday Night, and you’ll be able to watch it as you’ll be napping until kickoff because of your hangover and won’t be able to fall back asleep. I don’t think this game will appeal to the masses, but it will be worth the watch to see if OBJ can pull in one of Eli’s many horrendous passes.

Giants win 31-10

Your spirit animal will look like this on Sunday.

Monday Night: Steelers at Chargers

Mike Vick is my favorite all time Madden player, but you can’t expect him to pick up a first down in a fourth and two situation unless you run QB Sneak No Count. Le’Veon Bell will put up the most fantasy points for a running back this week, I’m thinking right around that 30 point range. Antonio Brown will have an average day as him and Vick figure things out yet, but if he gets the ball in his hands or if Vick just throws the ball up in the air 80 yards down field, you might just see Antonio Brown dancing in the end zone.

Phillip Rivers will throw for a bunch of yards to Keenan Allen and maybe even check it down to Danny Woodhead a bunch. Phillip Rivers will go off on Monday Night. This will come down to if Rivers’ arm is better than Bell’s legs. Big nights for those two guys.

Chargers win at home 28-27

 

That does it for me, mind you I can coach a high school team to state, but that doesn’t mean that I’m good at the NFL level. I don’t see anyone jumping out and shocking anyone with an outbreak performance this week. I’d expect that if your team sucks, they’ll still suck. I know that’s super helpful. If you’re in a fantasy league of 8 or less, keep an eye out for “good” wide receivers on the waiver wire. Andre Johnson is on league’s waiver wire, but I don’t want someone else’s used goods. At the end of the day, who cares, I should be in the league anyways.

My playoff predictions (in order) are:

NFC: Packers, Falcons, Cardinals, Cowboys, Vikings, and Panthers

AFC: Patriots, Bengals, Broncos, Colts, Jets, and Steelers

Cardinals beat the Panthers, Vikings beat the Cowboys, Broncos beat the Steelers, and the Jets beat the Colts

Packers beat the Vikings, Falcons beat the Cardinals, Patriots beat the Jets, and Bengals beat the Broncos

Packers beat the Falcons and Patriots beat the Bengals

Packers beat the Patriots in a game that combines for over 1,000 yards total offense

 

Now for some shoutouts:

Shout out to El Will for being dope.

Shout out to AJ Hawk and Jarrett Bush for being future Hall of Famers.

Shout out to my mom for everything.

Shout out to Aaron Rodgers for obvious reasons.

Shout out to T-Swift for breaking my heart.

 

In closing I’m very bias to running backs as they are the best looking dudes on the football field. I am also very bias to the Green Bay Packers as they are the only “publicly owned” football team. I like any quarterback that appears in movies (Marino, Favre, Brady, etc.). Next week El Will should be writing insightful fantasy columns as usual and will have doper graphics than I do. Hope ya’ll have a great weekend filled with football, family, and liquor.

Love,

Uncle Leon

Play this at my funeral.

Fantasy Column Week 3 – A trip down memory lane

It’s been a quiet week.

The feedback from season three episode two of my column was decent and with my mind in a good place I felt pretty damn chill until OUT OF NO WHERE! I was hit with a bomb straight outta 2010.

Larry Fitzgerald scored not one, not two but three touchdowns.

I thought to myself.

“Poop I better not be facing Fitz.”

I opened the ESPN Fantasy Football app to check live scoring and boom.

Larry Fitzgerald is facing Team El Will and he has 40 points and to make matters worse, I’m facing Josh.

Now, My guy Josh is a smart dude. His favorite word is California and he placed second in his third grade spelling bee back in 03′, but he is also brothers with the man who sent me this text once.

If you cannot tell, that is a screen shot of my phone from back in the glory days.

Josh’s brother texted me asking for MY cell phone number. The boys laughed for hours.

But anyway, my point is last Sunday I felt as If I stepped into a time machine and the fantasy ghosts of seasons past were back to seek vengeance on my fantasy soul.

Therefore this week, I’m going to reference a few fantasy ghosts who returned from the past.

Then share a story from my past that correlates with the time of year the named player was last good, and finally I’ll send that player back to the pits of fantasy hell along with my memory, or encourage both the named player and memory to continue to live on.

Confused? Just follow along.

First out of the time machine.

2013 Larry Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald came back from two year hiatus to score three touchdowns on eight catches for 112 yards.

Seeing the former Holy Angels standout take his 2013 form made me think back to a time when everyone still wanted to be Johnny Manziel.

Back to a time when my friends actually talked to girls.

And back to a time when Tebowing was still cool.

Live on or go to hell?

For the sake of good people doing good things, Larry Fitzgerald should live on in his 2013 form, and he is in a situation to do so.

As long as Carson Palmer is healthy, Fitzgerald has a more than capable quarterback and the Cardinals have a favorable schedule leading up to their bye in week nine.

Unless you have crazy depth Fitzgerald should stay in lineups.

Besides, was emulating the swag  of average celebrity quarterbacks that bad?

Lets bring that back too.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Next out of the time machine.

2008 DeAnglo Williams

DeAnglo Williams rushed for 77 yards for three touchdowns and last week he had 127 yards on the ground.

The 49ers failed attempts at chasing down Williams reminded me of the times back in 08′ when I failed at chasing tail in the nation’s capital.

Like DeAnglo, I thought I was the man in 08, but I don’t think the girl next to me did.

It’s a good thing it didn’t work out though, because she went on to date a close friend.

But honestly, all my friends were chasing girls in D.C. back then.

And like DeAnglo a few of my guys may have scored a few times too.

We were only in middle school so I’m talking hugs, dates to the dance and maybe a kiss or two.

Meanwhile me and my guy Q already knew the lonely hour would be the only place for our crew.

 

Live on or go to hell?

Don’t get me wrong. My eighth grade trip to Washington D.C contains some of the best memories of my pre high school years, but damn middle school sucked.

It sucked almost as much as having DeAnglo Williams score 26 points on you this week.

Le’Veon Bell is back.

Therefore, 2008 Williams get out of here.

And take the bulk of my middle school memories with you.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Last one off the time machine.

2011-12 James Jones

Jones caught 21 touchdowns between 2011-12. He’s on pace for 24 scores.

Though he’s not breaking Randy Moss’ touchdown record he’ll catch double digit scores.

Just like my boys and I scored double digits on this team dive back in 11′.

And like Jones, I left my championship dive team and decided to pursue a solo career which turned out to be super lame.

BUT! also like Jones, once I realized I couldn’t make it on my own, I returned to the team and started doing it big again.

Live on or go to hell?

James Jones is bringing Packer fans back to the good ole’ days when Jordy Nelson wasn’t hurt and Aaron Rodgers wasn’t the spokesman of StateFarm yet.

And those truly were the better days.

Therefore, live on old man Jones though I am afraid he won’t.

He only caught one pass last week and despite it being for a touchdown he only has seven targets this year.

If Jones finds the end zone again this week, sell high on him because I don’t think his end of year yardage totals will be worth the weekly spot in your lineup.

——————————————————————————————————————————

It’s nice taking a trip down memory lane every now and then.

Old still shots and dated videos remind us all of a time that for some reason feels easier than the moment we’re in now.

And just like life in 2008-2012, Didn’t fantasy football feel easier back then too?

With that in mind, I hope this weeks game previews can help you get back to the effortless days of fantasy football.

And if it doesn’t, then just look back on some old stills and let the nostalgia set in.

 

Week 3 Game Previews

Giants vs Pro team in Washington

The Giants are 0-2 after blowing back-to-back forth quarter leads to start the season.

For fantasy purposes, I think Eli Manning has a nice game tonight. Washington’s front seven is solid.

They haven’t allowed a rusher to eclipse 60 yards this year and New York isn’t going to break that streak.

If you have to start a Giant’s running back then go with Shane Vereen but Manning threw the ball forty times last week while four different players rushed for a team total of only 23 attempts. This is a pass first team with Odell Beckham Jr and Vereen leading the way.

Washington’s backfield is even more confusing than New York’s after the emergence of rookie Matt Jones last week.

The third round pick out of Florida burst on the scene with 19 carries for 123 yards and two scores.

The vet, Alfred Morris still got his carries with 18 but was far less effective.

Going forward, Morris is still the guy to start this week. I’d rather be a week late than a week too early on a guy in fantasy but this backfield has me scared and is one of the biggest storylines for week three.

Colts vs Titans

Talk about a Monday nightmare.

Every fantasy owner of Andrew Luck must be more disappointed than the grandparents of these children.

Seriously who is more pissed. The grandmother who gave birth to the son who decided he should dress his family like this or fantasy owners of Andrew Luck?

Luck has about one billion turnovers since entering the league according to ESPN and his last five scoring totals dating back to the last week of the fantasy playoffs last year are 0, 17, 8.

The Colts are in trouble.

Their offensive line is awful. Without Vonte Davis who left Monday’s game with an injury, they can’t defend anyone, and Andre Johnson looks like he just traded spots with Reggie Wayne last year. In other words, he can’t move.

There is good news this week though.

Johnny Manziel looked good against a big play prone Titans defense, so you are sticking with Luck for one more week.

It sounds like T.Y Hilton is going to be fine, but I think the more interesting play the rest of the year is Donte Moncrief.

He has 19 targets through two games and has looked like the Colts best offensive player so far. He is a wide receiver two this week.

 

Raiders vs Browns

Last week, Johnny Manziel won his first NFL game. This week he’ll be on the bench again.

Here is a live look in at Manziel talking to his agent.

Now that Manziel is benched no one cares about the Browns again.

Isaiah Crowell and Duke Johnson will continue to split carries with Crowell playing the role of goal line scorer.

The Raiders on the other hand intrigued me last week.

Both Michael Crabtree and Amari Cooper topped 100 yards receiving and probably had a wild night in Marshawn’s homeland to celebrate the victory together.

Derek Carr threw the ball 46 times and though some of that had to do with Oakland playing catchup. Clearly the Raiders are comfortable with Carr letting it fly.

I like both Crabtree and Cooper going forward as wide receiver 2.5’s.

Patriots vs Jaguars

I don’t have much to say about this game other than to wait one more week on Allen Robinson. Sure he had a big week two but week one he was held to only one catch.

Also, you all need to watch this clip. South Park, once again, brilliantly nails the entire Deflategate saga in one minutes time.

Perfection.

Oh and for the record. I think Caitlyn Jenner is a hero. She is stunning and brave.

Eagles vs Jets

So far the Eagles have looked like that one person from middle school that gets their braces off first and everyone things that person is the hottest thing ever. Then a couple of weeks go by and as more and more people start getting the metal taken out of their mouth you slowly realize.

Whoa, maybe that person isn’t that awesome after all.

Everyone knows someone like that.

Someone who peaked around eighth grade.

Yeah that’s the Eagles, because clearly they peaked in week three of the damn preseason and fooled us all.

It isn’t going to get any easier for the clueless Sam Bradford and running backwards Demarco Murray this week. (If Murray even plays. He injured his hamstring in Wednesday’s practice.) The Jets are the number two fantasy defense and intercepted Andrew Luck three times last week.

Bradford can’t be in anyone’s lineup anymore. Ryan Mathews isn’t a good play even if Murray sits.

Only Jordan Matthews is usable.

I’m out on the Eagles this week but not for the year.

In weeks five and six they face Washington and the Giants. If they can’t turn this thing around by then then I’m out. But like the cool, then lame kid from middle school.

I am holding on hope that I’ll be considered cool again.

End of week three game previews

I got an email this week.

I’ll share some of it here because I liked this persons idea. I can only share part of the email though because some parts were not appropriate for my PG-13 column.

Title: Yo El

Message: What’s good El?! It’s your friend here. So I really like the column, and I accept your apology for all the wrong you caused the past two weeks.

I have a question though. A couple of times you’ve mentioned the betting lines for the football games but you don’t touch on it enough.

I’m gonna be in line at Pickle Palooza Saturday and in the mood to bet some football.

Can you help me out?

Thanks for the email loyal reader!

I’ve wanted to start a NFL betting lines segment for awhile now so no time like the current!

As always, I want to be clear that I don’t bet on sports. These are simply suggestions for if you decide to take the risk of sports gambling.

Good luck!

Here are my one liners on the betting lines for my reader who will be in the long pickle palooza line.

Damn that’s a lot of lines.

Steelers vs Rams +2

Bell is back and the Rams scored only 10 points last week. Steelers win by 10.

Eagles vs Jets -2

I know I just pooped on the Philadelphia but I was told to always bet against the team that looked good the previous Monday night because of the short week. Eagles keep it close.

Jaguars vs Patriots -14

I like the Jaguars here. Two scores is a lot. The Patriots will dominate this game, but if Vegas gives you 14 points you should probably take it and live with the results.

Falcons vs Cowboys +1.5

No Tony Romo. No Dez Bryant. This is a no brainer. Falcons win by more than two points easily.

Bills vs Dolphins -2.5

What have the Dolphins done to really impress anyone yet this year? They lost to the Jaguars. Bills defense is elite. Bills win by more than a field goal.

Chiefs vs Packers -7

The Packers were seven point favorites against the defending Super Bowl champions. Now only seven point favorites against Kanas City. I’ll take the Packers at home by 10.

Whoa!

The lines are gone.

And that’s all I have this week.

So as always thank you for reading and have a great fantasy weekend.

See you at Pickle Palooza!

Post credit scene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fantasy Column Week 2: I’m Sorry – Put the blame on me

I’m sorry.

There I said it.

I am sorry.

I didn’t mean for this to happen.

In my defense, I didn’t see this coming. How was I supposed to know that Season 3 episode 1 of my fantasy column would be consumed the way it was.

Season premieres are all about pulling in ratings and getting the people excited.

Look at these numbers.

I don’t know much about analytics, but I do know that I can’t name 300 people  that like both me, fantasy football and have the time to click on my work.

So again I thank everyone for the support last week.

Truly humbling.

But as I said. I am sorry.

I said somethings in my column last week that I shouldn’t have said, therefore I have apologies to make.

First I will issue my formal apology. Name the person or group it is intended for. Maybe share a quote from my column last week that proves my apology is necessary and lastly explain how I plan to make up for the mistake I made.

Here we go.

Apologies to Carlos Hyde owners

Haha “stay away” I said last week. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I really didn’t think Hyde would accomplish much in this game. I thought the Vikings defense would bottle him up on early downs and force Colin Kaepernick to throw, but damn the exact opposite happened.

Hyde owners, I’ll make it up to you by saying  congratulations! You just got your self a top 12 and potential top 10 running back for the year. Hold on to him and expect high volume carriers the rest of the year.

Personal apologies go out to my friend Mark. Hope you’re feeling good now.

Apologies to gamblers of the Colts game 

Yeah. No. This was the worst call I had.

A buddy of mine named Will asked me for some gambling advice last week. I told him.

“Will, my good friend, being a college athlete in my senior season, you know I can’t start gambling on sports until next year, but if I could bet I would put my money on the Colts to kill the Bills. Shoot, Who is Tyrod Taylor anyway right?”

Damn was I wrong again.

Apparently Taylor is good enough to complete 14 of 19 passes for 195 yards and a 51 yard touchdown pass to Percy Harvin.

I also thought Andrew Luck would play like the third best quarterback in the league, but in his defense his offensive line is not good and the Bills defense is stout.

Going forward, the Colts offense will be fine. With TY Hilton questionable for Monday Night Football, expect Andre Johnson to have a nice game along with increased targets for Donte Moncrief who had 11 last week.

The Bills still confuse me. All I know is as long as Harvin is healthy he should probably be in your lineup.

And Lesean McCoy might not play this week. Watch out.

Apologies to my cousin & DeAndre Hopkins owners

 

 

“Not a top 12 receiver in any format.”

Yeah because he IS a top 3 receiver in any format.

El Will ya idiot.

Nine catches 98 yards and two scores. He just physically looked better than anyone in the Chiefs secondary.

I’ll make it up to Hopkins owners by saying this.

With Foster out, It looks like Hopkins will get any and all red zone opportunities. Touchdowns are the hardest thing to predict in fantasy football, but it looks like Hopkins is one of the better locks to score every week from here on out.

Apologies to Davante Adams owners

This one isn’t even my fault. Every time I was in my hometown this summer I’d swing over to my guys house, and come fantasy season I had to listen to him rave (like he does every year) about how dope his Packers are.

Therefore I’ll apologize for him.

Nate is sorry for influencing me into telling my readers this last week.

In mine and Nate’s defense, Adams did lead all Packers in targets with eight. It was just Aaron Rodgers who decided to rekindle his old flame with James Jones in the red zone and not show love to the young gun Adams.

I think Jones presence lowers expectations for Adams and both receivers might only be wide receiver threes the rest of the year.

Apologies to the non-gigglers

I write this column for several reasons, one reason being to entertain my friends and readers each week.

My experiences are my experiences and if I share them that is my choice. I believe what makes my column unique is my willingness to share authentic stories and moments from my life and spin them in a way that relates to fantasy football.

As long as I am successful at that and the majority of my readers respond positively to my work then my column will live on, and I couldn’t be more excited to blow off my school work, personal hygiene and sleep to continue giving the people what they want.

So with that being said, Non-gigglers, I don’t want to hear about this ever again.

Broncos vs Chiefs

Anyone who read my column last year knows I had some brutal Thursday night calls.

The common denominator in the games became a short week of practice tended to equal a bad night of offense for both teams playing.

Therefore, history shows I should predict a low scoring game and some ugly football.

Ha. No way.

I think the Broncos get their offense back on track in this game and that’ll start on the ground either with a banged up (but still playing) CJ Anderson or Ronnie Hillman.

IF Peyton Manning looks bad in this game. Then it’ll be time to panic but I’m not giving up on my high school quarterback’s favorite signal caller just yet.

Alex Smith faced a tough Texans defense last week and will get another test with Denver tonight. If he plays well then this Chiefs offense is going to be the real deal all year long.

Lions vs Vikings

I already apologized for my poor call on the Vikings game and for a more in-depth look at Minnesota going forward I urge you to check out my guy Joe Rush’s column.

He knows far more about the Vikings going forward than I could tell you.

As for the Lions, Golden Tate is going to be a points per reception monster this year. I am still trying to figure out why leagues that aren’t PPR still exist (or why we play with kickers for that matter) but to each is H***** own or however that saying goes.

Calvin Johnson should bounce back this week against a secondary that wasn’t really tested last week, and shout out to my friend John Enders and his Lion’s new rookie Ameer Abdullah.

It’s clear Abdullah will be a difference maker this year and could easily lead the Lions in yards from scrimmage if his usage stays up. Trade for the kid now before everyone knows how chill he is.

Titans vs  Browns

Since I’ve been over doing it with the memes this week I’ll just keep forcing it.

What the hell happened to the Bucs?

The only good thing about that game is it is clear Tampa Bay is going to be behind in games this year and that means lots of targets for Mike Evans if he’s ever healthy.

As for the Titans. I am buying Kendal Wright as a legitimate number two wide receiver this year especially in PPR.

As for Bishop Sankey, Are you really believing in a guy who averaged 3.7 yards per carry last year and who’s longest run was 22 yards?

And unless your name is Tom, you sure as hell aren’t inserting Sankey into your lineup outside of an running back two slot.

Word of advice, regardless of your league, never start three running backs at the same time. If you have that much depth at running back than make a trade. But don’t start three backs.

This isn’t 2007.

Falcons vs. Giants

Odell Beckham Jr. versus Julio Jones.

How blessed are we the people to live in America?

Though all eyes will be on these two superstar athletes, my eyes are on Tevin Coleman.

Twenty week one carries is reassuring and it looks like he’s the unquestioned lead back in Atlanta.

Also don’t let the Giants defense fool you. They couldn’t hold off a Cowboy offense that was without Demarco Murray or Dez Bryant.

Speaking of Dez Bryant. As my guy DP knows, TRADE HIM NOW! FOR ANYTHING!

Dez Bryant isn’t going to be back on the field until Week 12 at best. This is the same injury that keep Kevin Durant away from basketball for an entire season.

I wouldn’t be shocked if the Cowboys are sitting at 3-7 and just shut him down for the year.

Try to find a disconnected owner or Cowboy believer to take Bryant off your hands because he isn’t going to be worth the emotional roller coaster that he’s about to put his owners through.

Seahawks vs Packers

We all learned something last week.

Seattle’s offense line is bad. That’s not good for a team that’s finished a top the league in rushing attempts since Russell Wilson became the starter.

Bad news for Marshawn Lynch owners. Not because Lynch won’t get his touches because he will. I am worried about his effectiveness due to his offense line’s weaknesses.

Remember, the Seahawks traded All-Pro center Max Unger for Jimmy Graham this spring and are now paying the price up front for it.

I think the Seahawks will throw the ball around more than usual Sunday night in hopes of hiding the limitations of their offensive line.

The Packers are the Packers, and I already talked about them. Start everyone and enjoy Sunday night with a beer, mixed drink or a Mountain Dew depending on your age or city you’re from.

Jets vs Colts

I’m interested in one player on the Jets this year after his performance in week one.

Barber boy’s favorite, Brandon Marshall.  A team high nine targets and a score. He’s a sneaky wide receiver two the rest of the year.

As for the Colts, I am going to stop talking about them because I’m tired of it.

And for whoever has an issue with that, I’ll tell you what I told one of my former teammates and current coach the other day when he reminded me of my Colts call last week.

“PISS OFF BUDDY!”

In Closing

That’s all I have for this week. A few notes before I wrap up.

A big happy birthday goes out to my wide receiver brothers. I appreciate you two more than you know.

Have a night because you both deserve it. Arrow for life.

 

Lastly, feel free to leave a comment below. Last week there were a couple of good comments left but there is room for more!

I’ll comment back for a good time.

That’s all I wrote.

As always, Have a great fantasy weekend.

Post credit scene

Inspiration for this weeks column was drawn from this clip. Thank you as always South Park.

 

 

 

Heartache, Cocktails and Fantasy Football: The Summer that was – 2015

What do you mean?

I mean…

El Will’s fantasy football column is finally here!

Ladies and gentleman, bros and girls, welcome back to a third year of El Will’s fantasy football column.

It’s been well over six months since the last time I dropped a fantasy football column, and I couldn’t be more chill.

As always, (my loyal readers from the H and the Eau C know) each week inside the words of my work you’ll find mostly inside jokes, questionably humor, decent giggles and suspect grammar.

Mixed somewhere within the humor is low key fantasy football advice.

I take pride in the fact I am extremely plugged into the NFL around this time of year. My timelines are filled with NFL news, analysis and opinions and despite being a college student, I don’t actually do much college work.

Which means more time to absorb football information and regurgitate it to my loyal readers, who are either too busy with their lives or too lazy to research the game themselves.

That is why I am here. To put my work in on the web to make your fantasy lives easier and to give the people some giggles along the way.

Without further ado, lets get it.

 

The Summer that was 2015

Suburban pools, riverfront homes, mug club, friends, beach houses, sporting tournaments, dudes, and cold beverages.

What more could one ask for in a summer?

It was a big summer in the NFL also. From offensive stars like Jimmy Graham and Demarco Murray finding new homes. To impact rookies like Amari Copper and Todd Gurley joining the pros.

So to make this fun. For every NFL summer move I mention, I’ll share a summer moment of mine.

NFL summer move) Jimmy Graham traded to the Seahawks

Since 2012, Drew Brees has throw for less passing yards (5,162 in 2013 and 4,952 in 2014) and fewer touchdowns (39 in 2013 and 33 in 2014) in each of his past two seasons.

Despite the Saints passing game taking a step back in recent years, they still decided to trade their best receiver.

That’s like trying to build a city in the popular board game “Settlers of Catan” though you only have three ores in your hand you still trade two of them for a sheep.

A damn sheep.

The Saints will regret this one.

As for Seattle, the rich got richer. I expect Graham to catch at least 12 touchdowns, and he is a lock to score in week one. The Seahawks love showing off their new gadgets on opening weekend. See Percy Harvin last year.

 

Chill summer moment) Spring Thaw 2015

Though technically not a summer moment. It was still a kickoff summer event like none other.

24 teams participated in a single elimination basketball tournament.

In last place we had team “Hoops! I kissed my ex again”.

And in second place. With a combined BAC of .07 team “Carlos Hard Boozers”.

I heard the team that won was sober. No clue though because I was upstairs in 522’s VIP lounge shelving the loss with my squad.

Congratulations to all the teams that participated. Until next year.

NFL summer move) Demarco Murray signs with the Eagles

Anyone who knows me or as read my column knows how I feel about Demarco Murray.

He’s an incredible talent that finally avoided the injury bug and notched 2,261 total yards and 13 touchdowns.

But the Cowboys didn’t resign the reigning NFL offensive player of the year and Murray joined Chip Kelly’s fast pace offense.

The result of Kelly and Murray joining forces is going to be fantasy gold.

I am predicting the Eagles to lead the NFL in scoring this year and Murray will be a vocal point of the Philly attack. Here comes another year of Demarco!

Chill summer moment) July 4

 

July 4 was spend on the waters listening to some county music singer play at my friend’s beach house.

The music quality was real average and the only memorable parts of his performance were when my friends would go up and grab the microphone and say cool things.

Looking back, we probably should have just set up our own speakers and had a karaoke session on the beach but there is always next year!

 

NFL move) Lesean McCoy traded to Buffalo

Chip Kelly doesn’t give a rip.

First in 2013, Desean Jackson led the Eagles in every receiving category and the following offseason.

GONE!

Last season, Jeremy Maclin filled Jackson’s void leading the Eagles in receiving and now he is,

GONE!

Then there is Lesean McCoy, the Eagles all-time leading rusher totaled over 1,400 yards from scrimmage last year but Kelly said screw it.

GONE!

“Shady” McCoy joins Rex Ryan in Buffalo which means he’ll be getting the ball a lot, but a suspect offensive line in addition to Tyrod Taylor starting at quarterback makes for a murky situation.

I am staying away from McCoy this year.

 

Chill summer moment) Everything I haven’t mentioned yet

Watch and enjoy.

Final NFL move & summer moment) ACL’s & Heartache

If you were one of the people that drafted both Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin don’t worry, I felt your pain too.

Remember that dope July 4 party I told you all about a few paragraphs ago?

Though I didn’t draft both Nelson or Benjamin on any singular team, I did walk in on my ex in bed with a 30 year old on July 4 at that same party I mentioned.

I’d consider that equally as sucky as losing Benjamin for the year.

But wait! There is more.

A month later, I find out via SnapChat that she’s now dating the same 30 year old from July 4.

Boom. There goes Jordy’s ACL.

There was nothing myself, Jordy Nelson or Kelvin Benjamin owners could do except (in our inner Drake voices) say.

So you see. Blow for blow, I felt the same heartache fantasy owners felt this summer.

And what a summer it was.

GAME PREVIEWS

I realize that introduction was long, and if you are here for the fantasy advice and not the giggles than I am sorry you had to navigate through that mess up top.

In this section, I’m going to simply highlight a game and share the fantasy relevant take I have on it.

Therefore, lets talk some football.

Patriots vs Steelers 

Finally it is here and the people will get the game they deserve.

Tom Brady under center. Rob Gronkowski split wide.

Versus the best wide receiver in the game, Antonio Brown and the fine wine that is Ben Roethlisberger.

Everyone is starting Gronk and Brown. My guess is Roethlisberger cracks a lot of lineups too. But due to the summer that was Deflategae, There are likely teams out there that have Tom Brady and another top five quarterback.

My advice is simple.

The only guys who should start at quarterback in a fantasy lineup other than Brady this week are named Aaron Rodgers and Andrew Luck.

Playa Tom is as pissed as Cartman before he had to go to Fat Camp.

South Park doesn’t lie.

Also the Patriots cut Jonas Gray and are without Legarrette Blount. Tonight is going to be the Brady show.

Play Brady this week and your Thursday night will be a lot more fun.

 

Packers vs Bears

Last year the motto was “Start your holy Green Bay trinity” which was Rodgers, Nelson and Randall Cobb.

Weeeeeeeeelllll

Due to Nelson’s unfortunate injury things have changed. But just slightly.

Slide Jordy out, plug second year wide receiver Davante Adams in, and I think the rule of the holy trinity remains.

Start your Packers.

As for the Bears, this situation gets murky quick.

Forte is an obvious must start and your likely starting Marellus Bennett, but after that I’d proceed with caution with Alshon Jeffery.

I repeat. Proceed with caution! 

Jeffery practiced for the first time in 26 days yesterday with a lingering calf injury.

I’m not convinced Jeffery even plays this week, and if he does then the question becomes what kind of football shape could he even be in without really practice for nearly a month.

Just be careful here and monitor his Sunday status.

 

Chiefs vs. Texans 

Things I learned this summer: People love JJ Watt. So much in fact that Texans fans will stay around the Houston facility just to watch him jog extra laps after practice.

I kid you not.

My roommate and friend Matt Knapp told me there was a segment on HBO’s Hard Knocks this year of the exact scene I just described.

Some people I tell ya…

Anyway, Though Watt and the Texans defense is pretty nasty. (They added Vince Wilfork to their front line also.) I’m not sold that this offense will be capable of anything without Arian Foster.

That includes major question marks for me about Deandre Hopkins not just this week but for as long as Foster is out.

I would start the Houston defense but I don’t think Hopkins is a top 12 receiver in any format.

The Chiefs offense on the other hand is going to surprise people this year.

Charles is a no brainer and tight end Travis Kelce should be in most lineups, but Maclin is a guy who can be what Dwayne Bowe never was under Andy Reid.

Good.

Maclin is a legitimate number two receiver this week and possibly for the rest of the year.

Colts vs Bills

Outside of the fact Vegas only as the Colts as three point favorites which is nonsense, the Colts are going to have their way with Buffalo and spoil Ryan’s Bills debut.

Buffalo’s front seven is one of the best in the league and there are still question marks on the Colts front line, but Andrew Luck has covered the Colts weakness since his rookie year and that’ll only continue.

Also, I’m expecting for Andre Johnson to have a bigger game than T.Y Hilton.

In Johnson’s first game as a Colt, Luck is going to want to feed his new weapon the ball and let him know he’s loved in Indy.

For the Bills, McCoy is likely to play despite a hamstring injury. If you own him you have to start him, but I’m just glad I didn’t draft Shady in any of my leagues this year.

Personally, I’m most excited for Percy Harvin. He’s the king early seasons splashes. Watch for some gadget plays that will get Harvin popping early and have fantasy owners falling in love with the fugazi that is Percy Harvin.

Dolphins vs. Washington 

Did you all see this?

The professional football team in Washington doesn’t mess with Robert Griffin III anymore, and outside of Desean Jackson (wide receiver three) and Alfred Morris (running back two) stay far far away from this team.

The Dolphins on the other hand are on the up.

Shoutout Travis Ellis. I believe in your Fins this year.

Mostly because I like Jarvis Landry a lot this week and for the entire year, but watch out for Lamar Miller too. He showed flashes last year and could be ready to burst into the top 10.

 

Ravens vs. Broncos 

Like the Packers, you basically are starting every Bronco you own.

Peyton Manning, Demaryius Thomas, Emmanuel Sanders and CJ Anderson all should be in fantasy lineups.

And like the Packers, CJ Anderson is in a similar situation as Eddie Lacy.

Though Lacy is more talented, I think Anderson is in a better situation. Before the Flynn’s of the world freak out please hear me out.

Rodgers is in the prime of his career and firmly believes he can eat any defense alive with his arm (as he should think because he can) but at times last year this hurt Lacy as it took the ball out of his hands.

In fact, Lacy only topped 100 rushing yards once last year when he didn’t receive 20 or more carries.

Anderson on the other hand is playing with an aged Manning who knows his time is nearing an end. Peyton will get his numbers, but I think he is more likely to hand the ball off than Rodgers is at times.

Clearly I am splitting hairs here. Both backs are amazing, but I just like Anderson slightly over Lacy this year.

Giants vs Cowboys 

This tweet says it all.

Odell Beckham Jr. splashed on the national scene last year after catching 91 passes for 1,305 yards and 12 touchdowns in 12 games.

We all know the kid is unreal, but what I am looking forward to in this game are two major questions marks on each side of the ball.

First with the Giants,

Where is Victor Cruz at with his health and what role is he going to play in the Giants offense?

For the Cowboys

Is it Joseph Randle, Darren McFadden or newly acquired Christine Michael leading the back field in Dallas?

I don’t have the answers to either of these questions. That’s what Sunday is for!

Vikings vs 49ers 

The line in this game sits at Minnesota favored by 2.5. I loved this line until starting center John Sullivan went on IR.

I still like the Vikings to win this game.

Their defense is young and athletic and they have one of the best special teams units in the league.

(No, I’m not just saying that because I got to do this over the summer)

Though this was one of the best days of my summer, and I appreciate my guy Michael Priefer and his family for the privilege, the stats don’t lie. The Vikings defense and special teams unit has a chance to finish in the top five this year.

The 49ers are going to suck this year. Carlos Hyde will be rocky at best. Stay away. (Low key, watch out for a Reggie Bush revival.)

Eagles vs Falcons 

I’m only going to say this once.

OWN OR ACQUIRE EVERY EAGLE YOU CAN!

You’ve been warned.

Like I said, I think Philadelphia will lead the NFL in scoring this year.

I own Demarco Murray, Ryan Mathews and Darren Sproles in one of my leagues.

Why not? Did you see this unit in the preseason?

Jordan Matthews should pick up right where Maclin left off and rookie Nelson Agholor is my dark horse for offensive rookie of the year.

Oh and Sam Bradford is going to finish inside the top five at quarterback.

Atlanta well, this year feels just like the others.

Matt Ryan should finish between quarterback seven and 10

Roddy White will Frank Gore it up and stay average but useable.

The only thing different for me this year is Julio Jones could total 2,000 yards receiving.

That’s all I have for game previews. There are other things I want to do with this column and the structure and content in here each week will be fluid, but as always I promise quality giggles and low key fantasy advice.

In closing

I try to live by the saying, “Show love when love is due because people rarely get the flowers while they can still smell them.”

Not sure if I came up with that or if it’s a fusion of a couple other sayings.

I don’t know, but I do know that I owe people some love.

So much love to EVERYONE who either posted, shared, liked, favorited, retweeted or even talked about my fantasy football column over the past three days.

The support I’ve felt is something I didn’t entirely expect.

So, again thank you all. And as always,

Have a great fantasy weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Return: A brief summer sighting of El Will filled with NBA insight

As the self proclaimed fantasy football hero, it doesn’t come as a surprise I struggle finding topics to write about outside of the fantasy season.

I have other interests. The NBA, popular tv shows and movies, a little bit of NHL playoff action. But nothing sparked my interest to write until two weeks ago – when this happen.

The Minnesota Timberwolves for the first time in team history are selecting first in the NBA Draft.

Hallelujah. Halle-fricking-lujah.

I know what all you Green Bay Packer fans are thinking. “Look at this Minnesota sports fan claiming one of the states greatest sports days came as result of losing a bunch of games.”

Yeah, the generic Wisconsin fan is right. One of the best days in my 21 year Minnesota sports memory came on a day when no pucks were dropped, no footballs caught and no baseballs tossed.

Instead a beautiful day in Minnesota sports history occurred because a couple of ping pong balls bounced the Wolves way.

I haven’t been this excited for a ping pong ball to drop my way since the 522 beer pong days.

(A moment of remembrance for my old crappy college house basement please)

Back to the glory that is the Wolves capturing the first overall pick.

My message is simple. If you are a Wolves fan then enjoy the hype and build up to the draft.

Enjoy the endless debates with your friends on Jahlil Okafor or Karl Anthony Towns. I know I have.

My man Q and I have been debating this since the lottery. He’ll see how wrong he is in about 3 years time.

In both the NFL and the NBA, the pinnacle of the season comes at two different times. The playoffs and the draft, and the reason is simple.

Both situations sell “hope” to a fan base. For the playoffs, hope that your team will reach championship immortality or in the case of the draft. Hope that your team will land the “franchise guy”.

That franchise guy in this draft is Karl Anthony Towns.

Shoot me an email or tweet at me if I am wrong but Towns screams big man of today’s NBA.

Okafor is an extinct commodity that will struggle to defend pick and roll.

But I am not here to expose anyone. I’m here to embrace this glorious moment in Minnesota sports history.

So as I said, enjoy this.

Whether your best friend isn’t speaking to you. You failed a class this spring. You lost your girl or you hate your summer job.

Take a step back and smile. Because the Timberwolves are one step closer to becoming the next Oklahoma City Thunder.

Workout over. Towns one of the most freakishly talented bigs I've ever seen. Not sure what his weakness is in this setting.

— NBA Big Board (@chadfordinsider) June 1, 2015

Draft day cannot come soon enough.

NBA FINALS PREVIEW

This will be brief, but I want to talk to a little NBA Finals.

As most know, this series isn’t about Lebron James against Stephen Curry. Like every championship matchup, it is about the supporting cast.

Three big questions for the finals.

1) Is Kyrie Irving going to play 35 minutes a night and be the third best player on the floor? Or is he going to be limited all series.

2) Is Draymond Green a sound enough perimeter defender to slow down Lebron?

3) Are Timofey Mozgov and Tristan Thompson going to limit Golden State’s second chance opportunities?

I’m not going to act like I have the answers to those questions right now. I’ll know after about 15 minutes of hoops is played, but as of right now. No clue.

That’s the beauty of sports though, we gotta watch to find out.

Placing bets and cashin’ checks 

New segment here.

I’ll be giving advice on NFL betting lines all fall once the fantasy column returns, but for now. Let’s “bet” NBA Finals lines.

Because I am a college athlete, I cannot bet on sports. But if I wasn’t a college athlete, and I lived in Vegas here is where I’d put my money down on game one.

The Warriors will win by more than six points tonight and both teams will combine for less than 205 points.

If I am wrong on the under then blame my boy Nick Gmiterko. He talked me into the under after agreeing to cocktails tonight.

“WE’RE ON THE LIQUOR AGAIN MA!”

POST CREDIT SCENE

Not sure when I will return for another column. Hopefully it will be before the football season. But what I do know is when I do return, it’ll be a damn chill time.

Take care, peace out and enjoy this dope throwback clip of an all-time great.

Randy Moss scored 17 TDs as a rookie. Here's an 18th that got scratched off by an iffy holding penalty. #To… https://t.co/om4fvF1gXU

— Sam Monson (@PFF_Sam) June 4, 2015

 

Fantasy Football Week 12: A special Blugold tribute

In life you experience things and then they are over.

There is no going back, no do overs and no retries. Moments present themselves and then they are gone. All we can do is try to enjoy them as they pass.

Last weekend my 2014 football season ended, but that is okay. Because I have an entire year of eligibility left. For 12 of my teammates, when the play clock expired it marked the end of their football careers.

If you’ve ever experienced a “last something” you know what Saturday felt like for the Blugolds. Saying goodbye to a group of people you’ve been around for several years is comparable to a high school graduation ceremony.

You try to take it all in and savor the moments because you realize they are the last ones you’ll have as a group.

I am a firm believer that life is about creating strong and lasting relationships. Football has helped me accumulate such friendships. Both real football and fantasy football have put me around people I hope to be in the company of for many years to come.

As you look back on your fantasy season, like I am my football season, appreciate the moments you’ve had. Think about the draft and how fun it was to get everyone together. Maybe you had a couple of beers, or a few cocktails.(Hopefully both.) Laugh when you think about your buddy who reached on four different players he claimed were going to have a break out year, but they just ended up being a bunch of Cordarrelle Pattersons.

Smile knowing that fantasy football has brought your friends and family closer together.

Lastly, be grateful for every league member you have. Unlike high school or college football, there is no limit on the number of years you can play. But sometimes, for whatever reason, people walk away from leagues.

You never know when a league member or in my case a teammate is going to hang it up. Therefore, take a moment to thank them for the memories.

Because as Kanye West once said, “Most people never get the flowers while they can still smell them.”

To all the Blugold seniors, I thank you.

And to my man sweet feet, you will be missed.

Reactions and satisfactions

Patriots vs. Colts

Reaction: Sunday night football games have been blowing Thursday night games out of the water, and this past Sunday was no exception. Andrew Luck tried conquering the Patriots for the first time in his young career but fell short yet again. Outside of Rob Gronkowksi’s man-child touchdown and him throwing Colts defender Sergio Brown “out of the club”, the story of the night was Jonas Gray.

He was one yard shy of a 200 yard performance and he scored four times. If you started Gray then big high five to you. If he was on your bench ( like he was for me.) then we’ve missed out on his best performance of his career and that opportunity will never come again. It is near impossible to predict the New England backfield situation. They signed Legarrette Blount on Thursday which only makes things more confusing.

My guess is Gray will get 15 or so carries this week, but Blount will get playing time eventually which is bad news for owners who thought Gray was going to be their new bell cow. Don’t forget about Shane Veeren either. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him be a focal point of the offense this week.

Satisfactions: How can you not  be satisfied with Mr.Tom Brady. There is only one person in America more dope then Tom Brady right now, and it is this kid.

Like the kid in that video, Tom Brady has been whipping up the NFL over the past six weeks. This week he faces a Detroit defense that can only be beaten through the air, then Green Bay, San Diego and a tough Miami defense. But in Week 16 (the fantasy championship for most leagues.) Brady will carve up a sorry Jets defense. The point is I suggest riding the Brady train all the way to the promise land.

As for the Colts, I think their performance can be chalked up as a bad day at the office. Bill Belichick knows how to beat the Colts. But the Colts don’t face Billy every week so start Luck and Ty Hilton as usual.

With Ahmad Bradshaw out for the season, The logical answer to the Colts backfield situation should be Trent Richardson. I don’t think it will be that simple though. Don’t start Richardson this week unless you have to.

Lastly, the Andrew Luck to Coby Fleener connection is real. I like Fleener as a top seven TE the rest of the season.

Broncos vs. Rams

Reaction: As anyone ever noticed how funny Peyton Manning running is?

That makes me giggle every time I watch it. Anyway, Peyton and the Broncos did not look good Sunday. During the game they lost WR Emmanual Sanders to a concussion and TE Julius Thomas with a left ankle sprain. Both have been limited in practice this week. I think Sanders has a much higher chance of playing then Thomas does. NFL teams have been cautious with high ankle sprains this year. Calvin Johnson, Jamaal Charles and Reggie Bush have all missed games because their team doctors held them out for ankle issues.

If either or both miss the game then that is obviously bad news for Manning but good news for Demaryius Thomas.

There is not a running back you can trust in Denver.

Keep an eye on Wes Welker. With Thomas out of the lineup, the middle of the field is going to be open. I could see Welker getting Thomas’s targets in his absence.

 

Bengals vs. Saints

Reaction: I’m not trying to be mean but these two teams are starting to stretch me out.

You don’t know what your going to get from the Saints or Bengals each week. At one point this year New Orleans was 3-0 at home. Now they have a two game losing streak at the Superdome.

There isn’t a pass catcher on the Saints you can trust outside of Jimmy Graham, but Mark Ingram is still a nice RB 2 you should believe in. He didn’t have his best day versus a surprisingly bad Bengals defense ( ranked 28th in the league.) but better days are ahead.

Satisfaction: Hope you all enjoyed the three game Jeremy Hill show because it has come to an end. After resting the past three weeks, reports are indicating Giovani Bernard is ready to return to action. I don’t think Hill is going to just disappear, but there is no reason why he should be in your lineup. But prior to Bernard’s injury, Hill was only averaging about 8 touches a game.

A.J. Green is back! He notched 127 yards last week and a score. Play him with confidence as he looks 100% healthy.

Calling some shots

In honor of Blugold Week, I’ve decided to call some shots. No friends with me this time though. I’m just going to take a few fantasy shots by myself, put on my Beats and listen to “Marvin’s Room” on repeat. Before I begin, I want you to watch this video. It is actual footage of my friend Nick back when he was in grade 5.

1st shot- Browns vs. Falcons

A Cleveland WR will be this games highest fantasy scorer. If your familiar with me then you know who I’m thinking it will be. #TheReturn

2nd shot- Titans vs. Eagles

The Eagles got embarrassed last weekend. With that being said, I would not want to be Tennessee this week. Chip Kelly is going to get his team on the right track, and I predict Mark Sanchez has a top five QB day. Darren Sproles is going to play a big role in that.

3rd shot- Colts vs. Jaguars

Jacksonville has the 26th rated pass defense and T.Y, Hilton is coming off a quite game last week. Look for Luck to feed “The Ghost” early and often. He’ll get fed so much that I predict he’ll be the number one WR in fantasy this week.

4th shot- Chargers vs. Rams

At this time last year a rookie WR for the Chargers was coming off back-to-back 100 yard games. This year he’s only had one 100 yard performance. I think this week he has his second.

5th shot- Seahawks vs. Cardinals

For Arizona to beat the defending champions in their own stadium, they are going to have to find ways to creatively get Andre Ellington the ball. I think that will happen, and Ellington will have a top 8 day despite the tough matchup.

Except the Seahawks defense isn’t near as good as they were last year. All the more reason I like Ellington this week.

Well, I’m done. I’ve listen to “Marvin’s Room” 12 times already, and I’m running low on my fantasy serum so no more shots for me this week.

Thank you for reading and have a great fantasy weekend.

Post credit scene

HAPPY BLUGOLD WEEK!

 

 

 

 

Fantasy Football Week 10: Blugold Pride

Losing isn’t fun.

Losing causes one to feel helpless, disappointed, confused, frustrated and angry all at the same time.

Prior to last weekend, I was a member of a winless football team. I have experienced a lot of losing this year, and this has been the most frustrating year of athletic competition I’ve had in my entire life.

I’ve been presented with every reason to walk away from football and so have my teammates. We don’t get athletic scholarships. We invest more than 20 hours a week to a game that none of us have an NFL future in.
All that time on the practice field and in the weight and film rooms hinder our GPA’s, which are our real tickets into the workforce.

So after our week six loss, when we were essentially eliminated from the postseason, why didn’t we all quit?

Because we have pride, and last week, a prideful pack of Blugolds got to call themselves winners.

@UWECblugolds @BlugoldFootball The winner of the War on 94! pic.twitter.com/FlspAC3vFP

— Dan Schumacher (@DanSchumacherAD) November 1, 2014

Look at my teammates faces. This photo was taken after we defeated our conference rival UW-Stout last Saturday. The game is known as “The War on Interstate 94.” And to the winner goes the trophy you see being held in the picture.

I am not going to sit behind this keyboard and act like I was a contributing factor to why we won this game. In fact, my day was over after warm-ups, but that doesn’t make me any less proud to be a Blugold.

I am happy for my teammates. I am proud of the fact we have never given up this year. There are things in life that are bigger then football such as the lessons this game exhibits.

This losing season has taught me a lot about the complexities of winning, and how to truly battle through adversity.

If your fantasy team has no chance of making the playoffs, don’t be the owner that stops checking their lineup or drops their players. Instead, get like the Blugolds and have some pride in yourself.

Try to play spoiler, or take down a close friend and create a new rivalry. Whatever you do, don’t be a quitter

Enjoy the final weeks of the football season because whether you play fantasy football or real football you can always play for pride.

Reactions and satisfactions

Saints vs. Panthers

NFL rudely stopped airing Thursday Night Football games on CBS , and they failed to notify me.

That night, I get home after a long day and judge the 2^nd annual “Bronco Jack and Joel” pumpkin carving contest hosted at 522. Here is a picture of the winners. Congratulations.

Congrats to our winners! 1st place goes to @MegTracy9! 2nd place goes to @burzynski7 and @DakotaNichols14 pic.twitter.com/s0z2d6LQFj

— Joel Newman (@JoelInOne) October 31, 2014

Anyway after a long day of journalism and judging, all I wanted to do was watch some Thursday Night Football. I walk into the 522 living to see my boys watching Florida State play Louisville. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind college football, but

Pro sports >>>>> College sports every time for me.

I didn’t get to watch this game, but when I saw the highlights and the box score I thought something is not right in Carolina. Then I thought Cam Newton sounded like this at his press conference and probably in the locker room after the game.

The Panthers are going in the wrong direction. I think they are missing the presence of Steve Smith both on and off the field. It is hard to start any Panther right now outside of Greg Olson. I am giving Cam Newton one more week. If he doesn’t perform well on Monday night then it is time to bail.

Satisfactions: The Saints are looking like the Saints again. Drew Brees plays his next three games at home, which means if you own any NOLA guys, get them in your lineups as you prepare for the final stretch of the regular season.

Washington vs. Vikings

The NFC North is becoming real interesting. I know my Packer fan readers would disagree, but were over half way through the season, and it is still anyone’s race.

I’ve said it before, Desean Jackson is a must start. Except for this week because he is on bye. I like to think RGIII is going to be a top 10 QB going forward, but that was not the case on Sunday. He looked slow and confused. Lets wait and see what he does after his bye week before we make a decision on the fantasy future of Griffin.

Satisfactions: The Vikings won. That is always satisfying. What is not satisfying to me is the fact Adrian Peterson could be returning to the Vikings soon. I want to cheer for AP as I have for the past seven years, but it is hard for me to get over what he did.

I don’t want to get into all the moralities of it. My buddy Jawz wrote a great article on the AP situation and you can check it out here.

Regarding AP’s return, my gut is telling me he will be back on the field wearing purple in 2-3 weeks. The NFL Commissioner will reinstate him and the Vikings will welcome back the face of their franchise.

With a rookie QB and a new stadium opening in two years, the team will feel they need Peterson to guide them into this new chapter of Minnesota football.

If you have picked up Peterson then well done. You are going to have a top five RB heading into the fantasy playoffs. Upon his return, I think the value of Jerick McKinnon will fall off. It is going to be the AP show. Maybe we see a resurgence of Cordarrelle Patterson?

Eh don’t get your hopes up.

Buccaneers vs. Browns

I am going to share an email I got the other day from one of my loyal readers.

Hey El Will,

Listen man, you haven’t talked about the Bucs all year and outside of your boy Josh Gordon, not a word about the Browns either. What gives bro? Show some love to Lebron’s city and you know Mike Evans maybe?

When the people talk, El Will listens. This past summer my friends taught me life is about giving the people what they need! So my loyal reader, thank you for the email and here is my take on the Browns and Bucs summed up in three bullet points.

• Vincent Jackson is done. At this time next year he won’t be in Tamba Bay. Mike Evans is the future of this offense and is a strong WR 3. He is getting more targets then Jackson and frankly looks better.
• If you drafted Doug Martin in the third round once over the past two years then I can forgive you. But if you drafted him two years in a row in the third round then I must say you are a basic female dog cause is he the worst RB in fantasy. This team is better with Bobby Rainey on the field. Tamba plays a Falcons defense that rates 25^th against the run, therefore lets hope Doug Martin sits out again.
• Josh Gordon returns in three weeks. Not like I am counting or anything.

Broncos vs. Patriots

After all the adversity Brady has had to go through this year, my guess is he was feeling like Rick James after the Patriots commanding win.

As I said last week, Gronk is back, and he continued to show why he is the best TE in football. His 1:1 touchdown to games played ratio is still a possibility for him to achieve someday which is crazy to think about.

Julian Edelman is a younger version of Wes Welker. I’m tired of people saying Edelman is a better football player then Welker. If Wessy (33) was five years younger as Edelman (28) then he’d be making those same plays.

But it is not 09′ and sadly Welker should be dropped in all fantasy leagues.

Edelman is a fine WR two but the Patriot connection you want is right here. Look at this man.

Satisfaction: I love what Denver is doing with Ronnie Hillman. He finally had the big game he had been flirting with the past few weeks, and if you’re a Hillman owner there is no way he is not in your line up from here on out.

Calling some shots

This week I’ll be enjoying some fantasy cocktails with my good friend TYLA.

Ty and I go way back. I tried to fight him in grade 8 because of girls, and in grade 10 he stole my B-team football touchdown because he was a big shot varsity star.

But since then we’ve become kewl and have been bros for years now. So Ty, let’s have a few fantasy shots.

TYLA: Okay fine, I was going to do homework, and I have to wake up at like 5 a.m. but fine lets do a some.

El Will: My man.

1^st shot- Dolphins vs. Lions

Calvin Johnson is back, and he is going to have his presence be felt. Golden Tate became a top 10 WR in Johnson’s absence and those days are long gone. Look for Matthew Stafford to zero in on Johnson early and often.

TYLA: Well no crab El. Turn your freaking brain on.

El Will: What do you mean TYLA?

TYLA: Megatron is the best WR in football. Take another shot.

El Will: Okay how about this? Also TYLA do you have any extra QB’s?

TYLA: No. Hurry up and take your shot.

2^nd shot- Seahawks vs. Giants

Russell Wilson is going to put the team on his back this week and rush for over 80 yards and a score. Seattle is in an offensive funk. Their only hope is to have Wilson dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge their way out of it. The Giants are in the bottom ten in total defense and Wilson will be the best athlete on the field on Sunday.

TYLA: Whoa! I’m feeling it man. Do you want to play some Chel?

El Will: No Ty, we just started. Why do you want to play video games already?

TYLA: El, I take way bigger pulls then you do.

El Will: We’re taking fantasy shots not pulls Ty.

TYLA: EXACTLY.

3^rd shot- Bears vs. Packers

Aaron Rodgers and the Packers embarrassed Chicago last time they met. For the sake of my Sunday night, I am hoping this is going to be a good game. I think Cutler and Rodgers match each other touchdown for touchdown pass, but at the end of the day it will be a Cutler turnover that costs the Bears.

I expect Eddie Lacy to have another big primetime performance and last time the Packers played Jordy Nelson got no love. Number 87 is going for over 100 and a score Sunday night.

TYLA: This is dumb. Hey Lord do you want to go inside and play 2K ?

El Will: Ty no! Come on, Can we relax a bit and just kick it.

TYLA: Okay. Where is my brother? Can you text him?

El Will: Yeah I will.

TYLA: He’s such a bastard. He’s probably driving up to the cities and back or something with the car. Seriously he does he know what gas is?

El Will: Yeah Ty. Hey are you sure you don’t have an extra QBs you can trade me?

4^th shot- Panthers vs. Eagles

I am all in on Mark Sanchez. All I’ve heard this week on talk radio is how Sanchez is a better talent then Nick Foles, and that Chip Kelly is exactly what Sanchez needed in order to get his career back on track.

I plan on using Sanchez on Draft Prince this weekend and if you need a QB fill in this week Sanchez is your guy! This Eagles offense is going to produce no matter the signal caller.

El Will: I really need a QB this week. I have no one.

TYLA: Okay here, I’ll trade you one of mine.

El Will: You’ve had two QB’s this whole time?!

TYLA: Yeah El, It’s fantasy football.

That’s all I wrote for this week. No post-credit scene, so thanks for the click and have a great fantasy weekend.