Fantasy Column Week 3 – A trip down memory lane

It’s been a quiet week.

The feedback from season three episode two of my column was decent and with my mind in a good place I felt pretty damn chill until OUT OF NO WHERE! I was hit with a bomb straight outta 2010.

Larry Fitzgerald scored not one, not two but three touchdowns.

I thought to myself.

“Poop I better not be facing Fitz.”

I opened the ESPN Fantasy Football app to check live scoring and boom.

Larry Fitzgerald is facing Team El Will and he has 40 points and to make matters worse, I’m facing Josh.

Now, My guy Josh is a smart dude. His favorite word is California and he placed second in his third grade spelling bee back in 03′, but he is also brothers with the man who sent me this text once.

If you cannot tell, that is a screen shot of my phone from back in the glory days.

Josh’s brother texted me asking for MY cell phone number. The boys laughed for hours.

But anyway, my point is last Sunday I felt as If I stepped into a time machine and the fantasy ghosts of seasons past were back to seek vengeance on my fantasy soul.

Therefore this week, I’m going to reference a few fantasy ghosts who returned from the past.

Then share a story from my past that correlates with the time of year the named player was last good, and finally I’ll send that player back to the pits of fantasy hell along with my memory, or encourage both the named player and memory to continue to live on.

Confused? Just follow along.

First out of the time machine.

2013 Larry Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald came back from two year hiatus to score three touchdowns on eight catches for 112 yards.

Seeing the former Holy Angels standout take his 2013 form made me think back to a time when everyone still wanted to be Johnny Manziel.

Back to a time when my friends actually talked to girls.

And back to a time when Tebowing was still cool.

Live on or go to hell?

For the sake of good people doing good things, Larry Fitzgerald should live on in his 2013 form, and he is in a situation to do so.

As long as Carson Palmer is healthy, Fitzgerald has a more than capable quarterback and the Cardinals have a favorable schedule leading up to their bye in week nine.

Unless you have crazy depth Fitzgerald should stay in lineups.

Besides, was emulating the swag  of average celebrity quarterbacks that bad?

Lets bring that back too.

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Next out of the time machine.

2008 DeAnglo Williams

DeAnglo Williams rushed for 77 yards for three touchdowns and last week he had 127 yards on the ground.

The 49ers failed attempts at chasing down Williams reminded me of the times back in 08′ when I failed at chasing tail in the nation’s capital.

Like DeAnglo, I thought I was the man in 08, but I don’t think the girl next to me did.

It’s a good thing it didn’t work out though, because she went on to date a close friend.

But honestly, all my friends were chasing girls in D.C. back then.

And like DeAnglo a few of my guys may have scored a few times too.

We were only in middle school so I’m talking hugs, dates to the dance and maybe a kiss or two.

Meanwhile me and my guy Q already knew the lonely hour would be the only place for our crew.

 

Live on or go to hell?

Don’t get me wrong. My eighth grade trip to Washington D.C contains some of the best memories of my pre high school years, but damn middle school sucked.

It sucked almost as much as having DeAnglo Williams score 26 points on you this week.

Le’Veon Bell is back.

Therefore, 2008 Williams get out of here.

And take the bulk of my middle school memories with you.

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Last one off the time machine.

2011-12 James Jones

Jones caught 21 touchdowns between 2011-12. He’s on pace for 24 scores.

Though he’s not breaking Randy Moss’ touchdown record he’ll catch double digit scores.

Just like my boys and I scored double digits on this team dive back in 11′.

And like Jones, I left my championship dive team and decided to pursue a solo career which turned out to be super lame.

BUT! also like Jones, once I realized I couldn’t make it on my own, I returned to the team and started doing it big again.

Live on or go to hell?

James Jones is bringing Packer fans back to the good ole’ days when Jordy Nelson wasn’t hurt and Aaron Rodgers wasn’t the spokesman of StateFarm yet.

And those truly were the better days.

Therefore, live on old man Jones though I am afraid he won’t.

He only caught one pass last week and despite it being for a touchdown he only has seven targets this year.

If Jones finds the end zone again this week, sell high on him because I don’t think his end of year yardage totals will be worth the weekly spot in your lineup.

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It’s nice taking a trip down memory lane every now and then.

Old still shots and dated videos remind us all of a time that for some reason feels easier than the moment we’re in now.

And just like life in 2008-2012, Didn’t fantasy football feel easier back then too?

With that in mind, I hope this weeks game previews can help you get back to the effortless days of fantasy football.

And if it doesn’t, then just look back on some old stills and let the nostalgia set in.

 

Week 3 Game Previews

Giants vs Pro team in Washington

The Giants are 0-2 after blowing back-to-back forth quarter leads to start the season.

For fantasy purposes, I think Eli Manning has a nice game tonight. Washington’s front seven is solid.

They haven’t allowed a rusher to eclipse 60 yards this year and New York isn’t going to break that streak.

If you have to start a Giant’s running back then go with Shane Vereen but Manning threw the ball forty times last week while four different players rushed for a team total of only 23 attempts. This is a pass first team with Odell Beckham Jr and Vereen leading the way.

Washington’s backfield is even more confusing than New York’s after the emergence of rookie Matt Jones last week.

The third round pick out of Florida burst on the scene with 19 carries for 123 yards and two scores.

The vet, Alfred Morris still got his carries with 18 but was far less effective.

Going forward, Morris is still the guy to start this week. I’d rather be a week late than a week too early on a guy in fantasy but this backfield has me scared and is one of the biggest storylines for week three.

Colts vs Titans

Talk about a Monday nightmare.

Every fantasy owner of Andrew Luck must be more disappointed than the grandparents of these children.

Seriously who is more pissed. The grandmother who gave birth to the son who decided he should dress his family like this or fantasy owners of Andrew Luck?

Luck has about one billion turnovers since entering the league according to ESPN and his last five scoring totals dating back to the last week of the fantasy playoffs last year are 0, 17, 8.

The Colts are in trouble.

Their offensive line is awful. Without Vonte Davis who left Monday’s game with an injury, they can’t defend anyone, and Andre Johnson looks like he just traded spots with Reggie Wayne last year. In other words, he can’t move.

There is good news this week though.

Johnny Manziel looked good against a big play prone Titans defense, so you are sticking with Luck for one more week.

It sounds like T.Y Hilton is going to be fine, but I think the more interesting play the rest of the year is Donte Moncrief.

He has 19 targets through two games and has looked like the Colts best offensive player so far. He is a wide receiver two this week.

 

Raiders vs Browns

Last week, Johnny Manziel won his first NFL game. This week he’ll be on the bench again.

Here is a live look in at Manziel talking to his agent.

Now that Manziel is benched no one cares about the Browns again.

Isaiah Crowell and Duke Johnson will continue to split carries with Crowell playing the role of goal line scorer.

The Raiders on the other hand intrigued me last week.

Both Michael Crabtree and Amari Cooper topped 100 yards receiving and probably had a wild night in Marshawn’s homeland to celebrate the victory together.

Derek Carr threw the ball 46 times and though some of that had to do with Oakland playing catchup. Clearly the Raiders are comfortable with Carr letting it fly.

I like both Crabtree and Cooper going forward as wide receiver 2.5’s.

Patriots vs Jaguars

I don’t have much to say about this game other than to wait one more week on Allen Robinson. Sure he had a big week two but week one he was held to only one catch.

Also, you all need to watch this clip. South Park, once again, brilliantly nails the entire Deflategate saga in one minutes time.

Perfection.

Oh and for the record. I think Caitlyn Jenner is a hero. She is stunning and brave.

Eagles vs Jets

So far the Eagles have looked like that one person from middle school that gets their braces off first and everyone things that person is the hottest thing ever. Then a couple of weeks go by and as more and more people start getting the metal taken out of their mouth you slowly realize.

Whoa, maybe that person isn’t that awesome after all.

Everyone knows someone like that.

Someone who peaked around eighth grade.

Yeah that’s the Eagles, because clearly they peaked in week three of the damn preseason and fooled us all.

It isn’t going to get any easier for the clueless Sam Bradford and running backwards Demarco Murray this week. (If Murray even plays. He injured his hamstring in Wednesday’s practice.) The Jets are the number two fantasy defense and intercepted Andrew Luck three times last week.

Bradford can’t be in anyone’s lineup anymore. Ryan Mathews isn’t a good play even if Murray sits.

Only Jordan Matthews is usable.

I’m out on the Eagles this week but not for the year.

In weeks five and six they face Washington and the Giants. If they can’t turn this thing around by then then I’m out. But like the cool, then lame kid from middle school.

I am holding on hope that I’ll be considered cool again.

End of week three game previews

I got an email this week.

I’ll share some of it here because I liked this persons idea. I can only share part of the email though because some parts were not appropriate for my PG-13 column.

Title: Yo El

Message: What’s good El?! It’s your friend here. So I really like the column, and I accept your apology for all the wrong you caused the past two weeks.

I have a question though. A couple of times you’ve mentioned the betting lines for the football games but you don’t touch on it enough.

I’m gonna be in line at Pickle Palooza Saturday and in the mood to bet some football.

Can you help me out?

Thanks for the email loyal reader!

I’ve wanted to start a NFL betting lines segment for awhile now so no time like the current!

As always, I want to be clear that I don’t bet on sports. These are simply suggestions for if you decide to take the risk of sports gambling.

Good luck!

Here are my one liners on the betting lines for my reader who will be in the long pickle palooza line.

Damn that’s a lot of lines.

Steelers vs Rams +2

Bell is back and the Rams scored only 10 points last week. Steelers win by 10.

Eagles vs Jets -2

I know I just pooped on the Philadelphia but I was told to always bet against the team that looked good the previous Monday night because of the short week. Eagles keep it close.

Jaguars vs Patriots -14

I like the Jaguars here. Two scores is a lot. The Patriots will dominate this game, but if Vegas gives you 14 points you should probably take it and live with the results.

Falcons vs Cowboys +1.5

No Tony Romo. No Dez Bryant. This is a no brainer. Falcons win by more than two points easily.

Bills vs Dolphins -2.5

What have the Dolphins done to really impress anyone yet this year? They lost to the Jaguars. Bills defense is elite. Bills win by more than a field goal.

Chiefs vs Packers -7

The Packers were seven point favorites against the defending Super Bowl champions. Now only seven point favorites against Kanas City. I’ll take the Packers at home by 10.

Whoa!

The lines are gone.

And that’s all I have this week.

So as always thank you for reading and have a great fantasy weekend.

See you at Pickle Palooza!

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